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00000040: 49 55 4D 20 C7 4F 4C 44 49 4E 47 0D 20 20 20 20 |IUM .OLDING. |
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00000070: 42 4F 59 53 20 41 4E 44 20 47 49 52 4C 53 2C 20 |BOYS AND GIRLS, |
00000080: 53 4F 20 4D 55 43 48 20 48 41 53 0D 48 41 50 50 |SO MUCH HAS.HAPP|
00000090: 45 4E 45 44 20 54 48 49 53 20 4D 4F 4E 54 48 20 |ENED THIS MONTH |
000000A0: 54 48 41 54 20 D5 4E 43 4C 45 20 D6 41 4C 49 55 |THAT .NCLE .ALIU|
000000B0: 4D 0D 49 53 20 47 4F 49 4E 47 20 54 4F 20 42 45 |M.IS GOING TO BE|
000000C0: 20 52 45 41 4C 20 4E 49 43 45 20 41 4E 44 20 4E | REAL NICE AND N|
000000D0: 4F 54 20 4D 41 4B 45 0D 41 4E 59 20 42 41 44 20 |OT MAKE.ANY BAD |
000000E0: 50 55 4E 53 20 28 4F 4E 4C 59 20 47 4F 4F 44 20 |PUNS (ONLY GOOD |
000000F0: 4F 4E 45 53 29 2E 20 20 C9 4E 0D 46 41 43 54 20 |ONES). .N.FACT |
00000100: 54 48 45 52 45 20 49 53 20 53 4F 20 4D 55 43 48 |THERE IS SO MUCH|
00000110: 20 4E 45 57 53 20 C9 27 4D 20 47 4F 49 4E 47 0D | NEWS .'M GOING.|
00000120: 54 4F 20 4C 45 54 20 59 4F 55 20 52 45 41 44 20 |TO LET YOU READ |
00000130: 53 4F 4D 45 20 4F 46 20 49 54 20 4E 45 58 54 20 |SOME OF IT NEXT |
00000140: 41 4E 44 0D 54 48 45 4E 20 49 46 20 59 4F 55 20 |AND.THEN IF YOU |
00000150: 43 41 4E 20 46 49 47 47 45 52 20 4F 55 54 20 48 |CAN FIGGER OUT H|
00000160: 4F 57 2C 20 59 4F 55 0D 43 41 4E 20 52 45 41 44 |OW, YOU.CAN READ|
00000170: 20 54 48 45 20 52 45 53 54 20 4F 46 20 C7 41 5A | THE REST OF .AZ|
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00000190: 4D 45 20 4A 55 53 54 20 54 41 4B 45 20 54 48 49 |ME JUST TAKE THI|
000001A0: 53 20 48 45 52 45 0D 4F 50 50 4F 52 54 55 4E 49 |S HERE.OPPORTUNI|
000001B0: 54 59 20 54 4F 20 57 49 53 48 20 45 56 45 52 59 |TY TO WISH EVERY|
000001C0: 4F 4E 45 20 41 20 47 52 45 41 54 0D D4 48 41 4E |ONE A GREAT..HAN|
000001D0: 4B 53 47 49 56 49 4E 47 20 53 4F 20 59 27 41 4C |KSGIVING SO Y'AL|
000001E0: 4C 20 43 41 4E 20 47 45 54 20 4F 4E 20 57 49 54 |L CAN GET ON WIT|
000001F0: 48 0D 54 48 45 20 52 45 41 44 49 4E 27 20 4D 41 |H.THE READIN' MA|
00000200: 54 54 45 52 2E 0D 0D 0D 0D 0D CF CE 20 D4 C8 C5 |TTER........ ...|
00000210: 20 CC C5 C7 C1 CC 20 C6 D2 CF CE D4 0D 2D 2D 2D | ..... ......---|
00000220: 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 0D |---------------.|
00000230: 0D 20 20 C9 4E 20 54 48 45 20 4C 41 54 45 53 54 |. .N THE LATEST|
00000240: 20 49 4E 20 41 20 53 45 52 49 45 53 20 4F 46 0D | IN A SERIES OF.|
00000250: 4C 49 54 49 47 41 54 49 4F 4E 53 2C 20 CC 4F 54 |LITIGATIONS, .OT|
00000260: 55 53 20 C4 45 56 45 4C 4F 50 4D 45 4E 54 20 C3 |US .EVELOPMENT .|
00000270: 4F 52 50 2E 0D 48 41 53 20 4A 55 53 54 20 42 52 |ORP..HAS JUST BR|
00000280: 4F 55 47 48 54 20 53 55 49 54 20 41 47 41 49 4E |OUGHT SUIT AGAIN|
00000290: 53 54 20 49 54 53 45 4C 46 0D 46 4F 52 20 43 4F |ST ITSELF.FOR CO|
000002A0: 50 59 52 49 47 48 54 20 49 4E 46 52 49 4E 47 4D |PYRIGHT INFRINGM|
000002B0: 45 4E 54 2C 20 41 20 42 41 46 46 4C 49 4E 47 0D |ENT, A BAFFLING.|
000002C0: 4D 4F 56 45 20 54 48 41 54 20 48 41 53 20 53 4F |MOVE THAT HAS SO|
000002D0: 4D 45 20 4F 46 20 54 48 45 20 43 4F 55 4E 54 52 |ME OF THE COUNTR|
000002E0: 59 27 53 0D 47 52 45 41 54 45 53 54 20 4C 45 47 |Y'S.GREATEST LEG|
000002F0: 41 4C 20 4D 49 4E 44 53 20 53 43 52 41 54 43 48 |AL MINDS SCRATCH|
00000300: 49 4E 47 20 54 48 45 49 52 0D 43 4F 4C 4C 45 43 |ING THEIR.COLLEC|
00000310: 54 49 56 45 20 48 45 41 44 53 2E 20 C9 4E 20 CC |TIVE HEADS. .N .|
00000320: 4F 54 55 53 20 56 53 20 CC 4F 54 55 53 2C 0D 54 |OTUS VS .OTUS,.T|
00000330: 48 45 20 53 4F 46 54 57 41 52 45 20 47 49 41 4E |HE SOFTWARE GIAN|
00000340: 54 20 43 48 41 52 47 45 53 20 54 48 41 54 20 49 |T CHARGES THAT I|
00000350: 54 53 0D 4E 45 57 20 50 52 4F 44 55 43 54 2C 20 |TS.NEW PRODUCT, |
00000360: D3 45 43 4F 4E 44 20 CD 4F 56 45 4D 45 4E 54 2C |.ECOND .OVEMENT,|
00000370: 0D 43 4F 4E 54 41 49 4E 53 20 43 4F 44 45 20 57 |.CONTAINS CODE W|
00000380: 48 49 43 48 20 41 50 50 45 41 52 45 44 20 49 4E |HICH APPEARED IN|
00000390: 20 49 54 53 0D 50 52 4F 47 52 41 4D 2C 20 C2 48 | ITS.PROGRAM, .H|
000003A0: 41 47 41 56 41 44 20 C7 49 54 41 2C 20 41 4E 44 |AGAVAD .ITA, AND|
000003B0: 20 54 48 55 53 20 49 53 0D 50 52 4F 50 52 49 45 | THUS IS.PROPRIE|
000003C0: 54 41 52 59 20 54 4F 20 CC 4F 54 55 53 2E 0D 0D |TARY TO .OTUS...|
000003D0: 20 20 C9 46 20 CC 4F 54 55 53 20 57 49 4E 53 20 | .F .OTUS WINS |
000003E0: 54 48 45 20 53 55 49 54 20 41 47 41 49 4E 53 54 |THE SUIT AGAINST|
000003F0: 0D 49 54 53 45 4C 46 2C 20 49 54 20 57 49 4C 4C |.ITSELF, IT WILL|
00000400: 20 48 41 56 45 20 54 4F 20 50 41 59 20 49 54 53 | HAVE TO PAY ITS|
00000410: 45 4C 46 0D 44 41 4D 41 47 45 53 2E 20 D4 48 45 |ELF.DAMAGES. .HE|
00000420: 20 4C 41 57 20 46 49 52 4D 20 4F 46 20 C2 55 4D | LAW FIRM OF .UM|
00000430: 52 41 50 20 41 4E 44 0D C8 49 44 45 20 57 48 49 |RAP AND..IDE WHI|
00000440: 43 48 20 4E 4F 54 49 43 45 44 20 54 48 45 20 49 |CH NOTICED THE I|
00000450: 52 52 45 47 55 4C 41 52 49 54 59 0D 41 4E 44 20 |RREGULARITY.AND |
00000460: 49 53 20 52 45 50 52 45 53 45 4E 54 49 4E 47 20 |IS REPRESENTING |
00000470: CC 4F 54 55 53 20 41 47 41 49 4E 53 54 0D 49 54 |.OTUS AGAINST.IT|
00000480: 53 45 4C 46 20 48 41 53 20 54 41 4B 45 4E 20 54 |SELF HAS TAKEN T|
00000490: 48 45 20 43 41 53 45 20 4F 4E 0D 43 4F 4E 54 49 |HE CASE ON.CONTI|
000004A0: 4E 47 45 4E 43 59 2E 20 20 D4 48 45 59 20 48 41 |NGENCY. .HEY HA|
000004B0: 56 45 20 41 4C 53 4F 20 42 45 45 4E 0D 45 4E 47 |VE ALSO BEEN.ENG|
000004C0: 41 47 45 44 20 54 4F 20 44 45 46 45 4E 44 20 CC |AGED TO DEFEND .|
000004D0: 4F 54 55 53 20 41 47 41 49 4E 53 54 0D 49 54 53 |OTUS AGAINST.ITS|
000004E0: 45 4C 46 2C 20 41 54 20 41 20 48 41 4E 44 53 4F |ELF, AT A HANDSO|
000004F0: 4D 45 20 52 45 54 41 49 4E 45 52 2E 0D 0D 20 20 |ME RETAINER... |
00000500: C9 54 20 49 53 20 52 55 4D 4F 52 45 44 20 54 48 |.T IS RUMORED TH|
00000510: 41 54 20 42 41 53 45 44 20 4F 4E 20 54 48 45 0D |AT BASED ON THE.|
00000520: CC 4F 54 55 53 20 41 43 54 49 4F 4E 2C 20 CD 49 |.OTUS ACTION, .I|
00000530: 43 52 4F 53 4F 46 54 20 49 53 20 43 4F 4E 53 49 |CROSOFT IS CONSI|
00000540: 44 45 52 49 4E 47 0D 53 55 49 4E 47 20 49 54 53 |DERING.SUING ITS|
00000550: 45 4C 46 2E 20 C1 4E 20 41 54 54 4F 52 4E 45 59 |ELF. .N ATTORNEY|
00000560: 0D 52 45 50 52 45 53 45 4E 54 49 4E 47 20 54 48 |.REPRESENTING TH|
00000570: 45 20 43 4F 4D 50 41 4E 59 20 41 47 41 49 4E 53 |E COMPANY AGAINS|
00000580: 54 0D 49 54 53 45 4C 46 20 53 41 49 44 20 54 48 |T.ITSELF SAID TH|
00000590: 45 59 20 57 49 4C 4C 20 50 52 4F 42 41 42 4C 59 |EY WILL PROBABLY|
000005A0: 20 53 45 54 54 4C 45 0D 57 49 54 48 20 54 48 45 | SETTLE.WITH THE|
000005B0: 4D 53 45 4C 56 45 53 20 4F 55 54 20 4F 46 20 43 |MSELVES OUT OF C|
000005C0: 4F 55 52 54 2E 0D 0D 20 20 C9 54 20 49 53 20 41 |OURT... .T IS A|
000005D0: 4C 53 4F 20 52 55 4D 4F 52 45 44 20 54 48 41 54 |LSO RUMORED THAT|
000005E0: 20 54 48 45 20 43 4F 4D 50 41 4E 59 0D 48 41 53 | THE COMPANY.HAS|
000005F0: 20 41 4C 52 45 41 44 59 20 4F 46 46 45 52 45 44 | ALREADY OFFERED|
00000600: 20 49 54 53 45 4C 46 20 31 32 20 4D 49 4C 4C 49 | ITSELF 12 MILLI|
00000610: 4F 4E 0D 44 4F 4C 4C 41 52 53 2C 20 57 48 49 43 |ON.DOLLARS, WHIC|
00000620: 48 20 41 54 54 4F 52 4E 45 59 53 20 48 41 56 45 |H ATTORNEYS HAVE|
00000630: 20 54 55 52 4E 45 44 0D 44 4F 57 4E 20 41 4E 44 | TURNED.DOWN AND|
00000640: 20 54 45 52 4D 45 44 20 52 49 44 49 43 55 4C 4F | TERMED RIDICULO|
00000650: 55 53 4C 59 20 4C 4F 57 2E 0D 0D 20 20 D3 48 4F |USLY LOW... .HO|
00000660: 55 4C 44 20 CC 4F 54 55 53 20 57 49 4E 20 54 48 |ULD .OTUS WIN TH|
00000670: 45 20 43 41 53 45 20 41 47 41 49 4E 53 54 0D 49 |E CASE AGAINST.I|
00000680: 54 53 45 4C 46 2C 20 4C 41 57 59 45 52 53 20 50 |TSELF, LAWYERS P|
00000690: 52 45 44 49 43 54 20 22 4C 49 54 49 43 49 44 45 |REDICT "LITICIDE|
000006A0: 22 0D 57 49 4C 4C 20 42 45 43 4F 4D 45 20 41 20 |".WILL BECOME A |
000006B0: 43 4C 45 56 45 52 20 41 4E 44 20 50 4F 50 55 4C |CLEVER AND POPUL|
000006C0: 41 52 0D 4D 45 41 4E 53 20 4F 46 20 52 41 49 53 |AR.MEANS OF RAIS|
000006D0: 49 4E 47 20 43 41 50 49 54 41 4C 20 49 4E 20 54 |ING CAPITAL IN T|
000006E0: 48 45 0D 46 55 54 55 52 45 2C 20 52 45 47 41 52 |HE.FUTURE, REGAR|
000006F0: 44 4C 45 53 53 20 4F 46 20 54 48 45 20 47 55 49 |DLESS OF THE GUI|
00000700: 4C 54 20 4F 46 0D 54 48 45 20 4C 49 54 49 47 41 |LT OF.THE LITIGA|
00000710: 4E 54 2E 0D 0D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 3C |NT...----------<|
00000720: 20 45 4E 44 20 4F 46 20 41 52 54 49 43 4C 45 20 | END OF ARTICLE |
00000730: 3E 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 0D |>----------. |
... IDIOTORIAL.
BY. VALIUM GOLDING.
IDIOT-IN-CHIEF.. WELL, BOYS AND
GIRLS, SO MUCH HAS.HAPPENED THIS MONTH
THAT UNCLE VALIUM.IS GOING TO BE REAL NI
CE AND NOT MAKE.ANY BAD PUNS (ONLY GOOD
ONES). IN.FACT THERE IS SO MUCH NEWS I'
M GOING.TO LET YOU READ SOME OF IT NEXT
AND.THEN IF YOU CAN FIGGER OUT HOW, YOU.
CAN READ THE REST OF GAZELLE... SO LET
ME JUST TAKE THIS HERE.OPPORTUNITY TO WI
SH EVERYONE A GREAT.THANKSGIVING SO Y'AL
L CAN GET ON WITH.THE READIN' MATTER....
..ON THE LEGAL FRONT.------------------.
. IN THE LATEST IN A SERIES OF.LITIGATI
ONS, LOTUS DEVELOPMENT CORP..HAS JUST BR
OUGHT SUIT AGAINST ITSELF.FOR COPYRIGHT
INFRINGMENT, A BAFFLING.MOVE THAT HAS SO
ME OF THE COUNTRY'S.GREATEST LEGAL MINDS
SCRATCHING THEIR.COLLECTIVE HEADS. IN L
OTUS VS LOTUS,.THE SOFTWARE GIANT CHARGE
S THAT ITS.NEW PRODUCT, SECOND MOVEMENT,
.CONTAINS CODE WHICH APPEARED IN ITS.PRO
GRAM, BHAGAVAD GITA, AND THUS IS.PROPRIE
TARY TO LOTUS... IF LOTUS WINS THE SUIT
AGAINST.ITSELF, IT WILL HAVE TO PAY ITS
ELF.DAMAGES. THE LAW FIRM OF BUMRAP AND.
HIDE WHICH NOTICED THE IRREGULARITY.AND
IS REPRESENTING LOTUS AGAINST.ITSELF HAS
TAKEN THE CASE ON.CONTINGENCY. THEY HA
VE ALSO BEEN.ENGAGED TO DEFEND LOTUS AGA
INST.ITSELF, AT A HANDSOME RETAINER...
IT IS RUMORED THAT BASED ON THE.LOTUS AC
TION, MICROSOFT IS CONSIDERING.SUING ITS
ELF. AN ATTORNEY.REPRESENTING THE COMPAN
Y AGAINST.ITSELF SAID THEY WILL PROBABLY
SETTLE.WITH THEMSELVES OUT OF COURT...
IT IS ALSO RUMORED THAT THE COMPANY.HAS
ALREADY OFFERED ITSELF 12 MILLION.DOLLA
RS, WHICH ATTORNEYS HAVE TURNED.DOWN AND
TERMED RIDICULOUSLY LOW... SHOULD LOTU
S WIN THE CASE AGAINST.ITSELF, LAWYERS P
REDICT "LITICIDE".WILL BECOME A CLEVER A
ND POPULAR.MEANS OF RAISING CAPITAL IN T
HE.FUTURE, REGARDLESS OF THE GUILT OF.TH
E LITIGANT...----------< END OF ARTICLE
>----------.
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