00000000: 00 60 07 00 00 00 00 00 00 16 40 10 20 5D 32 31 |.`........@. ]21|
00000010: 20 57 41 59 53 20 54 4F 20 4B 49 4C 4C 20 59 4F | WAYS TO KILL YO|
00000020: 55 52 20 54 52 4F 50 49 43 41 4C 20 46 49 53 48 |UR TROPICAL FISH|
00000030: 5B 0D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D |[.--------------|
00000040: 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D |----------------|
00000050: 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 2D 0D 0D |--------------..|
00000060: 30 31 2E 0A 53 48 49 54 2F 50 49 53 53 2F 54 48 |01..SHIT/PISS/TH|
00000070: 52 4F 57 2D 55 50 20 49 4E 20 54 48 45 20 54 41 |ROW-UP IN THE TA|
00000080: 4E 4B 2E 20 0D 0A 57 41 54 43 48 20 54 48 45 4D |NK. ..WATCH THEM|
00000090: 20 44 49 45 20 57 48 45 4E 20 54 48 45 20 57 41 | DIE WHEN THE WA|
000000A0: 54 45 52 0D 0A 42 45 43 4F 4D 45 53 20 50 4F 4C |TER..BECOMES POL|
000000B0: 4C 55 54 45 44 21 0D 0D 30 32 2E 0A 50 4F 55 52 |LUTED!..02..POUR|
000000C0: 20 42 4C 45 41 43 48 20 49 4E 54 4F 20 54 48 45 | BLEACH INTO THE|
000000D0: 20 54 41 4E 4B 2E 20 54 48 49 53 0D 0A 4F 4E 45 | TANK. THIS..ONE|
000000E0: 20 49 53 20 46 55 4E 20 54 4F 20 57 41 54 43 48 | IS FUN TO WATCH|
000000F0: 2E 0D 0D 30 33 2E 0A 41 50 50 4C 59 20 41 20 53 |...03..APPLY A S|
00000100: 54 45 41 44 59 20 43 55 52 52 45 4E 54 20 54 4F |TEADY CURRENT TO|
00000110: 20 54 48 45 20 10 0A 57 41 54 45 52 2E 20 45 2E | THE ..WATER. E.|
00000120: 47 2E 20 32 32 30 2F 32 34 30 56 2E 20 41 4E 59 |G. 220/240V. ANY|
00000130: 4F 4E 45 20 46 4F 52 0D 0A 46 52 49 45 44 20 46 |ONE FOR..FRIED F|
00000140: 49 53 48 3F 0D 0D 30 34 2E 0A 41 50 50 4C 59 20 |ISH?..04..APPLY |
00000150: 47 52 45 41 54 20 41 4D 4F 55 4E 54 53 20 4F 46 |GREAT AMOUNTS OF|
00000160: 20 48 45 41 54 20 54 4F 0D 0A 54 48 45 20 57 41 | HEAT TO..THE WA|
00000170: 54 45 52 2E 20 49 2E 45 2E 20 42 4F 49 4C 20 54 |TER. I.E. BOIL T|
00000180: 48 45 4D 20 41 4C 49 56 45 2E 0D 0D 30 35 2E 0A |HEM ALIVE...05..|
00000190: 53 48 4F 57 20 59 4F 55 52 20 46 49 53 48 20 41 |SHOW YOUR FISH A|
000001A0: 20 50 49 43 54 55 52 45 20 4F 46 0D 0A 53 43 41 | PICTURE OF..SCA|
000001B0: 52 46 41 43 45 2F 2D 56 2D 20 4F 52 20 4E 49 54 |RFACE/-V- OR NIT|
000001C0: 31 2F 46 34 43 47 20 28 4E 4F 0D 0A 4F 46 46 45 |1/F4CG (NO..OFFE|
000001D0: 4E 43 45 21 29 2E 20 57 4F 52 4B 53 20 45 56 45 |NCE!). WORKS EVE|
000001E0: 52 59 20 54 49 4D 45 2E 0D 0D 30 36 2E 0A 45 41 |RY TIME...06..EA|
000001F0: 54 20 54 48 45 20 46 49 53 48 20 41 4C 49 56 45 |T THE FISH ALIVE|
00000200: 21 20 43 52 49 53 50 59 21 10 30 37 2E 0A 44 4F |! CRISPY!.07..DO|
00000210: 4E 27 54 20 46 45 45 44 20 54 48 45 4D 2E 20 54 |N'T FEED THEM. T|
00000220: 48 49 53 20 4F 4E 45 20 54 41 4B 45 53 0D 0A 52 |HIS ONE TAKES..R|
00000230: 41 54 48 45 52 20 4C 4F 4E 47 2C 20 41 4E 44 20 |ATHER LONG, AND |
00000240: 49 53 20 52 41 54 48 45 52 20 0D 0A 42 4F 52 49 |IS RATHER ..BORI|
00000250: 4E 47 20 41 53 20 54 48 41 54 20 49 53 20 48 4F |NG AS THAT IS HO|
00000260: 57 20 46 49 53 48 20 4E 4F 52 2D 0D 0A 4D 41 4C |W FISH NOR-..MAL|
00000270: 59 20 44 49 45 2C 20 57 48 45 4E 20 54 48 45 20 |Y DIE, WHEN THE |
00000280: 4F 57 4E 45 52 53 20 46 4F 52 47 45 54 0D 0A 41 |OWNERS FORGET..A|
00000290: 42 4F 55 54 20 54 48 45 4D 2E 0D 0D 30 38 2E 20 |BOUT THEM...08. |
000002A0: 44 52 41 49 4E 20 54 48 45 20 57 41 54 45 52 20 |DRAIN THE WATER |
000002B0: 46 52 4F 4D 20 54 48 45 20 54 41 4E 4B 2E 0D 0A |FROM THE TANK...|
000002C0: 57 41 54 43 48 20 54 48 45 4D 20 4D 4F 56 45 20 |WATCH THEM MOVE |
000002D0: 41 4E 44 20 54 57 49 53 54 49 4E 47 2E 0D 0D 30 |AND TWISTING...0|
000002E0: 39 2E 0A 53 54 41 4D 50 20 4F 4E 20 54 48 45 4D |9..STAMP ON THEM|
000002F0: 2E 20 52 45 41 4C 4C 59 20 47 52 4F 53 53 2E 0D |. REALLY GROSS..|
00000300: 0A 46 4C 41 54 20 46 49 53 48 20 41 4E 44 20 41 |.FLAT FISH AND A|
00000310: 20 48 55 47 45 20 4D 45 53 53 2E 10 31 30 2E 0A | HUGE MESS..10..|
00000320: 50 4F 53 54 20 54 48 45 4D 20 54 4F 20 4D 45 20 |POST THEM TO ME |
00000330: 49 4E 20 41 20 4A 49 46 46 59 20 42 41 47 2E 0D |IN A JIFFY BAG..|
00000340: 0A 49 27 4D 20 53 55 52 45 20 49 27 4C 4C 20 54 |.I'M SURE I'LL T|
00000350: 52 59 20 53 4F 4D 45 20 4E 45 57 20 54 48 49 4E |RY SOME NEW THIN|
00000360: 47 53 0D 0A 4F 4E 20 54 48 45 4D 2E 20 28 4F 52 |GS..ON THEM. (OR|
00000370: 20 49 27 4C 4C 20 46 45 45 44 20 27 45 4D 20 54 | I'LL FEED 'EM T|
00000380: 4F 20 4D 59 0D 0A 43 41 54 2F 44 4F 47 21 29 0D |O MY..CAT/DOG!).|
00000390: 0D 31 31 2E 0A 53 54 49 43 4B 20 49 54 20 55 50 |.11..STICK IT UP|
000003A0: 20 59 4F 55 52 20 41 52 53 45 2E 20 4E 4F 54 20 | YOUR ARSE. NOT |
000003B0: 52 45 41 4C 4C 59 0D 0A 41 20 47 4F 4F 44 20 49 |REALLY..A GOOD I|
000003C0: 44 45 41 2C 20 55 4E 4C 45 53 53 20 59 4F 55 27 |DEA, UNLESS YOU'|
000003D0: 52 45 20 41 20 0D 0A 50 49 4C 4C 4F 57 2D 42 49 |RE A ..PILLOW-BI|
000003E0: 54 45 52 2E 20 28 47 45 54 20 49 54 3F 29 0D 0D |TER. (GET IT?)..|
000003F0: 31 32 2E 0A 4D 41 4B 45 20 54 48 45 20 54 41 4E |12..MAKE THE TAN|
00000400: 4B 20 41 49 52 54 49 47 48 54 2E 20 4E 4F 20 4F |K AIRTIGHT. NO O|
00000410: 58 59 2D 20 0D 0A 10 0A 47 45 4E 2C 20 4E 4F 20 |XY- ....GEN, NO |
00000420: 46 49 53 48 21 20 28 4E 49 43 45 21 29 0D 0D 31 |FISH! (NICE!)..1|
00000430: 33 2E 0A 41 44 44 20 53 45 56 45 52 41 4C 20 50 |3..ADD SEVERAL P|
00000440: 49 52 41 4E 48 41 53 20 54 4F 20 54 48 45 0D 0A |IRANHAS TO THE..|
00000450: 54 41 4E 4B 2E 20 54 48 45 59 27 4C 4C 20 42 45 |TANK. THEY'LL BE|
00000460: 20 45 41 54 45 4E 20 41 4C 49 56 45 2E 0D 0D 31 | EATEN ALIVE...1|
00000470: 34 2E 0A 53 48 4F 57 20 54 48 45 4D 20 54 4F 20 |4..SHOW THEM TO |
00000480: 59 4F 55 52 20 43 41 54 2E 20 57 4F 4E 27 54 0D |YOUR CAT. WON'T.|
00000490: 0A 42 45 20 4C 4F 4E 47 20 42 45 46 4F 52 45 20 |.BE LONG BEFORE |
000004A0: 54 48 45 59 20 4D 59 53 54 45 52 2D 0D 0A 49 4F |THEY MYSTER-..IO|
000004B0: 55 53 4C 59 20 44 49 53 53 41 50 45 41 52 2E 0D |USLY DISSAPEAR..|
000004C0: 0D 31 35 2E 0A 43 48 4F 50 20 54 48 45 4D 20 49 |.15..CHOP THEM I|
000004D0: 4E 20 48 41 4C 46 2E 20 54 48 49 53 20 49 53 20 |N HALF. THIS IS |
000004E0: 56 45 52 59 0D 0A 45 44 55 43 41 54 49 4F 4E 41 |VERY..EDUCATIONA|
000004F0: 4C 2C 20 42 45 43 41 55 53 45 20 59 4F 55 20 43 |L, BECAUSE YOU C|
00000500: 41 4E 10 0A 4C 45 41 52 4E 20 41 42 4F 55 54 20 |AN..LEARN ABOUT |
00000510: 54 48 45 20 49 4E 54 45 52 4E 20 4F 52 47 41 4E |THE INTERN ORGAN|
00000520: 53 0D 0A 46 52 4F 4D 20 59 4F 55 52 20 54 52 4F |S..FROM YOUR TRO|
00000530: 50 49 43 41 4C 20 46 49 53 48 2E 0D 0D 31 36 2E |PICAL FISH...16.|
00000540: 0A 4F 50 45 4E 20 41 20 54 48 49 43 4B 2C 20 48 |.OPEN A THICK, H|
00000550: 45 41 56 59 20 42 4F 4F 4B 20 41 54 0D 0A 41 42 |EAVY BOOK AT..AB|
00000560: 4F 55 54 20 54 48 45 20 4D 49 44 44 4C 45 20 50 |OUT THE MIDDLE P|
00000570: 41 47 45 20 41 4E 44 20 50 4C 41 43 45 0D 0A 54 |AGE AND PLACE..T|
00000580: 48 45 20 46 49 53 48 20 49 4E 53 49 44 45 2E 20 |HE FISH INSIDE. |
00000590: 54 48 45 4E 20 53 48 55 54 20 54 48 45 0D 0A 42 |THEN SHUT THE..B|
000005A0: 4F 4F 4B 20 57 49 54 48 20 41 20 42 49 47 20 42 |OOK WITH A BIG B|
000005B0: 41 4E 47 2E 54 48 49 53 20 4D 45 54 48 4F 44 0D |ANG.THIS METHOD.|
000005C0: 0A 49 53 4E 27 54 20 52 45 43 4F 4D 4D 45 4E 44 |.ISN'T RECOMMEND|
000005D0: 45 44 20 4F 4E 20 41 20 56 45 52 59 0D 0A 45 58 |ED ON A VERY..EX|
000005E0: 50 45 4E 53 49 56 45 20 42 4F 4F 4B 2E 0D 0D 31 |PENSIVE BOOK...1|
000005F0: 37 2E 20 0A 50 55 54 20 54 48 45 20 46 49 53 48 |7. .PUT THE FISH|
00000600: 2D 42 4F 57 4C 20 49 4E 20 54 48 45 20 46 52 45 |-BOWL IN THE FRE|
00000610: 45 5A 45 52 21 10 31 38 2E 0A 43 55 54 20 41 20 |EZER!.18..CUT A |
00000620: 53 4D 41 4C 4C 20 48 4F 4C 45 20 49 4E 20 41 20 |SMALL HOLE IN A |
00000630: 54 45 4E 4E 49 53 20 42 41 4C 0D 0A 41 4E 44 20 |TENNIS BAL..AND |
00000640: 50 4C 41 43 45 20 54 48 45 20 46 49 53 48 20 49 |PLACE THE FISH I|
00000650: 4E 53 49 44 45 2E 20 54 48 45 4E 2C 0D 0A 53 45 |NSIDE. THEN,..SE|
00000660: 41 4C 20 54 48 45 20 48 4F 4C 45 20 41 4E 44 20 |AL THE HOLE AND |
00000670: 50 4C 41 59 20 54 45 4E 4E 49 53 2E 0D 0D 31 39 |PLAY TENNIS...19|
00000680: 2E 0A 50 4F 55 52 20 41 4E 59 20 46 4C 41 4D 4D |..POUR ANY FLAMM|
00000690: 41 42 4C 45 20 4C 49 51 55 49 44 20 4F 4E 54 4F |ABLE LIQUID ONTO|
000006A0: 0D 0A 54 48 45 20 46 49 53 48 20 41 4E 44 20 4C |..THE FISH AND L|
000006B0: 49 47 48 54 20 49 54 2E 20 57 41 54 43 48 20 49 |IGHT IT. WATCH I|
000006C0: 54 0D 0A 53 51 55 49 52 4D 21 0D 0D 32 30 2E 20 |T..SQUIRM!..20. |
000006D0: 0A 50 55 54 20 49 54 20 49 4E 20 54 48 45 20 4D |.PUT IT IN THE M|
000006E0: 49 43 52 4F 57 41 56 45 2F 54 4F 41 53 54 45 52 |ICROWAVE/TOASTER|
000006F0: 2F 0D 0A 42 4C 45 4E 44 45 52 20 4F 52 20 41 4E |/..BLENDER OR AN|
00000700: 59 20 4F 54 48 45 52 20 4B 49 54 43 48 45 4E 0D |Y OTHER KITCHEN.|
00000710: 0A 41 50 50 4C 49 41 4E 43 45 2E 10 32 31 2E 0A |.APPLIANCE..21..|
00000720: 57 48 45 4E 20 49 54 27 53 20 41 20 53 55 4E 4E |WHEN IT'S A SUNN|
00000730: 59 20 44 41 59 2C 20 54 41 4B 45 20 59 4F 55 52 |Y DAY, TAKE YOUR|
00000740: 0D 0A 4D 41 47 4E 49 46 59 49 4E 47 20 47 4C 41 |..MAGNIFYING GLA|
00000750: 53 53 20 41 4E 44 20 50 4F 49 4E 54 20 54 48 45 |SS AND POINT THE|
00000760: 0D 0A 50 4F 49 4E 54 20 4F 46 20 4C 49 47 48 54 |..POINT OF LIGHT|
00000770: 20 4F 4E 20 54 48 45 20 46 49 53 48 45 53 20 48 | ON THE FISHES H|
00000780: 45 41 44 0D 0A 2F 45 59 45 2F 42 4F 44 59 2F 45 |EAD../EYE/BODY/E|
00000790: 54 43 2E 0D 0D 57 48 45 4E 20 59 4F 55 20 4B 4E |TC...WHEN YOU KN|
000007A0: 4F 57 20 4D 4F 52 45 20 57 41 59 53 20 54 4F 20 |OW MORE WAYS TO |
000007B0: 4B 49 4C 4C 20 0D 59 4F 55 52 20 54 52 4F 50 49 |KILL .YOUR TROPI|
000007C0: 43 41 4C 20 46 49 53 48 2C 20 54 48 45 4E 20 53 |CAL FISH, THEN S|
000007D0: 45 4E 44 20 59 4F 55 52 0D 4D 45 54 48 4F 44 20 |END YOUR.METHOD |
000007E0: 54 4F 20 55 53 2E 20 28 45 44 49 54 4F 52 49 41 |TO US. (EDITORIA|
000007F0: 4C 29 0D 0D 53 49 47 4E 45 44 2E 2E 2E 2E 2E 0D |L)..SIGNED......|
00000800: 0A 0A 45 41 52 54 48 53 48 41 4B 45 52 10 |..EARTHSHAKER. |
.`........@. ]21 WAYS TO KILL YOUR TROPI
CAL FISH[.------------------------------
--------------..01..SHIT/PISS/THROW-UP I
N THE TANK. ..WATCH THEM DIE WHEN THE WA
TER..BECOMES POLLUTED!..02..POUR BLEACH
INTO THE TANK. THIS..ONE IS FUN TO WATCH
...03..APPLY A STEADY CURRENT TO THE ..W
ATER. E.G. 220/240V. ANYONE FOR..FRIED F
ISH?..04..APPLY GREAT AMOUNTS OF HEAT TO
..THE WATER. I.E. BOIL THEM ALIVE...05..
SHOW YOUR FISH A PICTURE OF..SCARFACE/-V
- OR NIT1/F4CG (NO..OFFENCE!). WORKS EVE
RY TIME...06..EAT THE FISH ALIVE! CRISPY
!.07..DON'T FEED THEM. THIS ONE TAKES..R
ATHER LONG, AND IS RATHER ..BORING AS TH
AT IS HOW FISH NOR-..MALY DIE, WHEN THE
OWNERS FORGET..ABOUT THEM...08. DRAIN TH
E WATER FROM THE TANK...WATCH THEM MOVE
AND TWISTING...09..STAMP ON THEM. REALLY
GROSS...FLAT FISH AND A HUGE MESS..10..
POST THEM TO ME IN A JIFFY BAG...I'M SUR
E I'LL TRY SOME NEW THINGS..ON THEM. (OR
I'LL FEED 'EM TO MY..CAT/DOG!)..11..STI
CK IT UP YOUR ARSE. NOT REALLY..A GOOD I
DEA, UNLESS YOU'RE A ..PILLOW-BITER. (GE
T IT?)..12..MAKE THE TANK AIRTIGHT. NO O
XY- ....GEN, NO FISH! (NICE!)..13..ADD S
EVERAL PIRANHAS TO THE..TANK. THEY'LL BE
EATEN ALIVE...14..SHOW THEM TO YOUR CAT
. WON'T..BE LONG BEFORE THEY MYSTER-..IO
USLY DISSAPEAR...15..CHOP THEM IN HALF.
THIS IS VERY..EDUCATIONAL, BECAUSE YOU C
AN..LEARN ABOUT THE INTERN ORGANS..FROM
YOUR TROPICAL FISH...16..OPEN A THICK, H
EAVY BOOK AT..ABOUT THE MIDDLE PAGE AND
PLACE..THE FISH INSIDE. THEN SHUT THE..B
OOK WITH A BIG BANG.THIS METHOD..ISN'T R
ECOMMENDED ON A VERY..EXPENSIVE BOOK...1
7. .PUT THE FISH-BOWL IN THE FREEZER!.18
..CUT A SMALL HOLE IN A TENNIS BAL..AND
PLACE THE FISH INSIDE. THEN,..SEAL THE H
OLE AND PLAY TENNIS...19..POUR ANY FLAMM
ABLE LIQUID ONTO..THE FISH AND LIGHT IT.
WATCH IT..SQUIRM!..20. .PUT IT IN THE M
ICROWAVE/TOASTER/..BLENDER OR ANY OTHER
KITCHEN..APPLIANCE..21..WHEN IT'S A SUNN
Y DAY, TAKE YOUR..MAGNIFYING GLASS AND P
OINT THE..POINT OF LIGHT ON THE FISHES H
EAD../EYE/BODY/ETC...WHEN YOU KNOW MORE
WAYS TO KILL .YOUR TROPICAL FISH, THEN S
END YOUR.METHOD TO US. (EDITORIAL)..SIGN
ED........EARTHSHAKER.
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