DIRTY LIMERICK
FILE INFORMATION
FILENAME(S): DIRTY LIMERICK
FILE TYPE(S): PRG
FILE SIZE: 36.5K
FIRST SEEN: 2025-11-30 16:15:59
APPEARS ON: 2 disk(s)
FILE HASH
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FOUND ON DISKS (2 DISKS)
| DISK TITLE | FILENAME | FILE TYPE | COLLECTION | TRACK | SECTOR | ACTIONS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| GEORG FUX 02 94 | DIRTY LIMERICK | PRG | BrainSkull, Georg Fuchs 1988 | 19 | 0 | DOWNLOAD FILE |
| RED WOLFGANG 73 | DIRTY LIMERICK | PRG | BrainSkull, Wolfgang Red | 20 | 5 | DOWNLOAD FILE |
FILE CONTENT & ANALYSIS
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00008FC0: 20 49 4E 20 54 48 45 20 48 41 49 44 22 00 FE 97 | IN THE HAID"...|
00008FD0: 44 3E 99 3A 99 22 42 55 54 20 4D 59 20 42 4F 57 |D>.:."BUT MY BOW|
00008FE0: 45 4C 53 20 57 4F 52 4B 20 57 45 4C 4C 2E 2E 20 |ELS WORK WELL.. |
00008FF0: 44 4F 20 59 4F 55 20 42 55 47 47 45 52 22 00 08 |DO YOU BUGGER"..|
00009000: 98 4E 3E 8D 38 35 30 30 00 11 98 20 4E 99 22 93 |.N>.8500... N.".|
00009010: 22 00 1B 98 25 4E 99 3A 99 3A 99 00 28 98 2A 4E |"...%N.:.:..(.*N|
00009020: 97 35 33 32 38 31 2C 35 00 4C 98 34 4E 99 22 97 |.53281,5.L.4N.".|
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00009060: 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 92 22 00 8D 98 | . . . . . ."...|
00009070: 48 4E 99 22 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 12 20 92 |HN." . .|
00009080: 20 20 12 20 20 20 92 20 12 20 20 92 22 00 AE 98 | . . . ."...|
00009090: 52 4E 99 22 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 12 20 92 |RN." . .|
000090A0: 20 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 92 22 00 D1 | . . . . . ."..|
000090B0: 98 5C 4E 99 22 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 12 20 |.\N." . |
000090C0: 92 20 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 20 20 92 |. . . . . . .|
000090D0: 22 00 DB 98 66 4E 99 3A 99 3A 99 00 09 99 70 4E |"...fN.:.:....pN|
000090E0: 99 22 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 |." |
000090F0: 20 20 20 20 20 12 20 20 20 92 20 12 20 92 20 12 | . . . . .|
00009100: 20 92 20 12 20 20 DF 92 22 00 37 99 7A 4E 99 22 | . . ..".7.zN."|
00009110: 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 | |
00009120: 20 20 20 12 20 92 20 20 20 12 20 DF 20 92 20 12 | . . . . . .|
00009130: 20 92 20 12 20 92 22 00 65 99 84 4E 99 22 20 20 | . . .".e..N." |
00009140: 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 | |
00009150: 20 12 20 20 92 20 20 12 20 20 20 92 20 12 20 92 | . . . . . .|
00009160: 20 12 20 92 22 00 95 99 8E 4E 99 22 20 20 20 20 | . ."....N." |
00009170: 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 12 | .|
00009180: 20 92 20 20 20 12 20 92 DF 12 20 92 20 12 20 92 | . . ... . . .|
00009190: 20 12 20 92 22 00 C3 99 98 4E 99 22 20 20 20 20 | . ."....N." |
000091A0: 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 12 | .|
000091B0: 20 20 20 92 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 92 20 12 20 20 | . . . . . . |
000091C0: 92 A9 22 00 F8 99 A2 4E 99 3A 99 3A 99 3A 99 3A |.."....N.:.:.:.:|
000091D0: 99 22 59 4F 55 20 48 41 56 45 20 42 45 45 4E 20 |."YOU HAVE BEEN |
000091E0: 52 45 54 55 52 4E 45 44 20 54 4F 20 42 41 53 49 |RETURNED TO BASI|
000091F0: 43 20 21 20 42 59 45 22 00 00 00 |C ! BYE"... |
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WELCOME TO THE LIMERICK !"...-..".
............".M.1.."THANKS L
ISNASHARRAGH HIGH SCHOOL FOR"...2.."TRYI
NG TO TEACH ENGLISH HI HELEN HARVEY"./.6
..:.:.". THE LIMERICK IS A PROGRAM CONT
AINING"._.@..:." NOTHING BUT A COLLECT
ION OF TRILLING...J..:." FILTHY, DISGUST
ING POETRY THE I.C.L ".A.T..:." CONTEN
T OF WHICH CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED"...^..:
." AS DOWNRIGHT FUCKING LOW ! IF YOU ARE
".!.H..:." USED TO LISTENING TO CRAP AN
D HAVE A".Q.R..:." FAIRLY OPEN MIND THEN
PLEASE CONTINUE".K.S..:.I$" - - - BUT !
!".U.T..8500...{.." ----- BUT -----
".C.|..:.:." DON'T BLAME [ICL] IF YOU F
AINT!!!!!!"......:."IF YOUR HUMOUR IS L
ACKING THEN PERHAPS".$....:." YOU HAD BE
ST STOP RIGHT HERE AND PISS".T....:." O
FF AND AMUSE YOURSELF IN SOME OTHER"....
..:." WAY. SPACE INVADERS MAY BE MORE YO
UR"......:.T$"STYLE ! ".Q....:.:.:.
" YOU CAN'T SAY YOU HAVN'T BEEN WARNED !
"......8500......53280,2:.53281,2......"
.":.L.1......8506.9....X$;" THERE WAS
A YOUNG MAN OF NANTUCKET".K....:."WHOSE
PRICK WAS SO LONG HE COULD SUCK IT".....
.H$;"SAID HE WITH A GRIN,"......:.F$"AS
HE WIPED OFF HIS CHIN -"...&..:." IF MY
EAR WERE A CUNT I COULD FUCK IT !"...0..
8500...X..Y$D$"THERE WAS AN OLD FELLOW O
F BREST".G.B..:.C$"WHO SUCKED OFF HIS WI
FE WITH A ZEST".K.L..:.H$"DESPITE HER GR
EAT HOWLS,"...V..:.H$"HE SUCKED OUT HER
BOWELS"......:.C$"THEN SPAT THEM ALL OVE
R HER CHEST".F....8500......Y$E$"THERE W
AS A YOUNG LADY OF LEE"...F..:.F$"WHO SC
RAMBLED UP INTO A TREE".5.P..:.J$"WHEN S
HE GOT THERE".V.Z..:.I$"HER ARSEHOLE WAS
BARE".|....:.G$"AND SO WAS HER K. U. N.
T."......8500... ..Y$E$"THERE WAS A FAT
LADY OF CHINA".U.*..:.F$"WHO HAD AN ENO
RMOUS VAGINA"...4..:.J$"AND WHEN SHE WAS
DEAD"...>..:.N$"THEY PAINTED IT RED".@.
H..:.F$"AND USED IT FOR DOCKING A LINER"
.J.\..8500.Z....Y$"THERE WAS A YOUNG SAI
LOR FROM BRIGHTON"......:."WHO REMARKED
TO HIS GIRL-YOURE A TIGHT"......T$N$"ONE
"......:.E$"SHE REPLIED, 'PON MY SOLE,".
.....:.E$"YOU'RE IN THE WRONG HOLE;".5..
..:."THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM IN THE RIGHT
ONE".?....8500.H....Y$F$"THERE WAS A YO
UNG LADY OF DEE"......:.D$"WHO WENT DOWN
TO THE RIVER TO PEE"......:.K$"A MAN IN
A PUNT ".U....:.G$"PUT HIS HAND ON HER
CUNT"......:.E$"AND GOD HOW I WISH IT WE
RE ME"...$..8500.6.L..Y$B$"THERE WERE TH
REE LADIES OF HUXHAM,".F.V..:."AND WHENE
VER WE MEETS 'EM WE FUCKS 'EM"...`..:."
AND WHEN THAT GAME GROWS STALE "...J..
:.J$"WE SITS ON A RAIL"...T..:."AND PULL
S OUT OUR PRICKS AND THEY SUCKS"...~.."
'EM"..
....8500.F....Y$C$"THERE WAS A YOUNG LAD
Y NAMED INGE ".R....:.C$"WHO WENT ON A B
INGE WITH A DINGE"...D..:.G$"NOW I WONT
BREATHE A WORD"...N..:.H$"OF WHAT REALLY
OCCURED"...X..:.B$"BUT HER CUNT HAS A C
HOCOLATE FRINGE"......8500......Y$D$"A P
ANSY WHO LIVED IN KHARTOUM ".E....:.D$"T
OOK A LESBIAN UP TO HIS ROOM".J.(..:.F$"
AND THEY ARGUED ALL NIGHT"...2..:.H$"OVE
R WHO HAD THE RIGHT"...<..:."TO DO WHAT,
AND WITH WHICH, AND TO WHOM".G.P..8500.
..X..Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG PLUMBER OF L
EIGH".#....:.B$"WHO WAS PLUMBING A GIRL
BY THE SEA".L....:.D$"SHE SAID 'STOP YOU
R PLUMBING,".Q....:.F$"THERE'S SOMEBODY
COMING!'"... ..:."SAID THE PLUMBER, STIL
L PLUMBING, IT'S"......T$O$"ME"......85
00......Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL OF P
ITLOCHRY"......:.C$"WHO WAS HAD BY A MAN
IN A ROCKERY".;....:.F$"SHE SAID 'OH! Y
OU'VE COME".W....:.J$"ALL OVER MY BUM;".
.....:.B$"THIS ISN'T A FUCK - IT'S A MOC
KERY"......8500...@..Y$" THERE'S AN UNBR
OKEN BABE FROM TORONTO"...J..:.B$"WHO'S
EXCEEDINGLY HARD TO GET ONTO"...T..:.D$"
BUT WHEN YOU GET THERE,".5.^..:.F$"AND H
AVE PARTED THE HAIR,".F.H..:."YOU CAN FU
CK HER AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO".P.|..8500
......Y$" THERE ONCE WAS A HUSKY YOUNG
VIKING".L....:.B$"WHOSE SEXUAL PROWESS W
AS STRIKING"......:.H$"EVERY TIME HE GOT
HOT"...B..:.G$"HE WOULD SCOUR THE TWAT"
.B.L..:."OF SOME GIRL THAT MIGHT BE TO H
IS LIKING".L....8500.Z....Y$B$"THERE WAS
A YOUNG LADY NAMED BLUNT". ....:.F$"WHO
HAD A RECTANGULAR CUNT".E....:.F$"SHE L
EARNED FOR DIVERSION"...&..:.H$"POSTERIO
R PERVERSION"...0..:.B$"SINCE NO ONE COU
LD FIT IN HER FRONT"...D..8500.K.L..Y$C$
"THERE WAS AN OLD MAN OF CONNAUGHT".W.V.
.:.D$"WHOSE PRICK WAS REMARKABLY SHORT".
.....:.J$"WHEN HE GOT INTO BED"......:.K
$"THE OLD WOMAN SAID"......:.C$"'THIS IS
N'T A PRICK, IT'S A WART!"......8500...P
..Y$C$"THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL OF DETROIT
".C.Z..:.E$"WHO AT FUCKING WAS VERY ADRO
IT".K....:.F$"SHE COULD SQUEEZE HER VAGI
NA"......:.H$"TO A PIN POINT OR FINER"..
....:.F$"OR OPEN IT OUT LIKE A QUOIT"...
...8500...4..Y$F$"A MATHEMATICIAN NAMED
HALL"...>..:.G$"HAD A HEXAHEDRONICAL BAL
L".0.H..:.G$"AND THE CUBE OF ITS WEIGHT"
.Y.R..:.E$"TIMES HIS WHANGER, PLUS EIGHT
"...\..:."WAS FOUR FIFTHS OF FIVE EIGHTH
S OF FUCK"...F.."
ALL".C.P..8500......Y$" THE
RE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED KIMBLE".!...
.:.C$"WHOSE PRICK WAS EXCEEDINGLY NIMBLE
".D....:.H$"BUT FRAGILE AND SLENDER".E..
..:.H$"AND DAINTY AND TENDER"......:.B$"
SO HE KEPT IT ENCASED IN A THIMBLE"...T.
.8500.K....Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL OF
LLEWELLYN"......:." WHOSE BREASTS WERE
AS LARGE AS A MELON".! ...:.G$"THEY WERE
BIG IT WAS TRUE".E ...:.G$"BUT HER CUNT
WAS BIG TOO".W $..:." LIKE A BIFOCAL, F
ULL COLOR, AERIAL VIEW".. ...:.B$".OF CA
PE HORN AND THE STRAITS OF".. 3..T$I$"MA
GELLAN".A 8..8500.. `..Y$" THERE WAS AN
OLD FELLOW NAMED SKINNER".!!J..:." WHOSE
PRICK, HIS WIFE SAID, HAD GROWN".4!O..T
$I$"THINNER".X!T..:.F$"BUT STILL, BY AND
LARGE,".}!~..:.E$"IT WOULD ALWAYS DISCH
ARGE"..!...:." THE MOMENT HE GOT THE THI
NG IN HER"..!...8500..!D..Y$" THERE WAS
A YOUNG LASS OF BLACKHEATH".."N..:." WHO
FRIGGED AN OLD MAN WITH HER TEETH".;"X.
.:.D$"SHE COMPLAINED THAT HE STUNK".A"..
.:.D$"NOT SO MUCH FROM THE SPUNK".."...:
."BUT FROM HIS ARSEHOLE, WHICH WAS JUST"
.."...T$H$"UNDERNEATH".."...8500.."(..Y$
" THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW OF BUCKINGHAM
"..#2..:." WHO WROTE A TREATISE ON CUNT
S AND ON ".*#7..T$F$"SUCKING THEM".I#<..
:.I$".BUT LATER HIS WORK".K#F..:.G$"WAS
ECLIPSED BY A TURK"..#P..:." WHOSE TOPIC
WAS ARSEHOLES AND FUCKING"..#Z..T$M$"TH
EM"..#D..8500..#...Y$D$"A ROMAN OF OLD N
AMED HORATIO"..$...:.C$"WAS FOND OF A FO
RM OF FELLATIO".)$ ..:.G$"HE KEPT ACCURA
TE TRACK".L$...:.G$"OF THE BOYS HE'D ATT
ACK".|$...:." AND CALLED IT HIS COCK-SU
CKING RATIO"..$H..8500..$...Y$C$"THERE W
AS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED PELL"..$...:.E$"
WHO DIDN'T LIKE CUNT VERY WELL"..%...:.E
$"HE WOULD FINGER AND FUCK ONE,".-%...:.
G$"BUT NEVER WOULD SUCK ONE-".Z%...:.C$"
HE COULDN'T GET USED TO THE SMELL".D%,..
8500..%T..Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY CAL
LED TUCKER".E%^..:."AND THE PARSON HE TR
IED HARD TO FUCK HER"..%H..F$"SHE SAID,
'YOU GAY SINNER,"..&R..:.G$"INSTEAD OF Y
OUR DINNER,".7&|..:."AT MY CUNT YOU SHAL
L HAVE A GOOD ".L&...T$I$"SUCK, AH!".V&.
..8500..&...Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLO
W NAMED DAVE"..&B..:.D$"WHO KEPT A DEAD
WHORE IN A CAVE".M&L..:.K$"HE SAID, 'I A
DMIT"..&V..:.J$"I'M A BIT OF A SHIT"..'.
..:.E$"BUT THINK OF THE MONEY I SAVE"..'
...8500.J'...Y$D$"THERE WAS A YOUNG JEW
OF DELRAY".U'&..:.D$"WHO BUGGERED HIS FA
THER ONE DAY"..'0..:.I$"HE SAID, 'I LIKE
RATHER"..':..:.J$"TO STUFF IT UP FATHER
"..'D..:." HE'S CLEAN AND THERES NOTHIN
G TO PAY"..'X..8500. (...Y$C$"A MORTICIA
N WHO PRACTICED IN FYFE".O(...:.B$"MADE
LOVE TO THE CORPSE OF HIS WIFE".T(...:.G
$"'HOW COULD I KNOW, JUDGE?"..(...:.C$"
SHE WAS COLD, AND DID NOT BUDGE -".R(...
:.B$"JUST THE SAME AS SHE'D ACTED IN LIF
E"..(...8500..)...Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG
MAN FROM NANTUCKET".>)...:."WHO HAD SUC
H A BIG COCK HE COULD SUCK IT".A)...G$"W
HEN HE LOOKED IN A GLASS"..)...:.I$"AND
SAW HIS OWN ARSE"..)...:."HE NEAR BROKE
HIS NECK TRYING TO FUCK IT"..) ..8500..)
H..Y$B$"THERE WERE THREE YOUNG MEN IN PE
RU"..*R..:.G$"A GERMAN, A BUGGER, A JEW"
.3*\..:.H$"THE GERMAN HE BUGGERED ".U*F.
.:.H$"THE BUGGER, THE BUGGER"..*P..:.C$"
THE BUGGER, HE BUGGERED THE JEW"..*...85
00..*...Y$D$"'INDEED' QUOTH THE KING OF
SIAM,"..*...:.B$"'FOR CUNTS I JUST DON'T
GIVE A DAMN."..+...:.H$"THEY HAVN'T THE
GRIP,".'+J..:.I$"NOR THE VELVETY TIP,".
X+T..:.B$"NOR THE SCOPE OF THE ARSEHOLE
OF MAN.".B+...8500..+...Y$;" MEET ELMER,
YOUNG SON OF THE THORPES,"..+...:.D$"AF
FLICTED WITH PSYCHOTIC WARPS.".Y+$..:.K$
"HIS IDEA OF FUN"..+...:.I$"IS TO BUGGER
A NUN".$,8..:.C$"AND THEN VOMIT ALL OVE
R A CORPSE."..,L..8500._,T..Y$;"THERE WA
S A YOUNG BISHOP OF BUCKINGHAM"..,~..:."
WHO WAS BLAMED BY THE GIRLS FOR NOT "..
,...T$F$"FUCKING THEM".J,...:.H$".HE SAI
D 'THOUGH MY COCK"..,...:.I$"IS AS HARD
AS A ROCK"..-...:." YOUR CUNTS ARE TOO S
LACK. PUT A TUCK".,-...T$J$"IN THEM".6-.
..8500.D-X..Y$C$"THERE WAS A YOUNG MONK
FROM DUNDEE"..-...:.D$"WHO HUNG A NUNS C
UNT FROM A TREE"..-...:.H$"HE GRABBED HE
R FAIR ASS".X-...:.G$"AND PERFORMED A HI
GH MASS"......:.D$"THAT EVEN THE POPE CA
ME TOO SEE"......8500.:.<..Y$C$"THERE WA
S AN ARCHBISHOP IN FRANCE".D.F..:.D$"WHO
SAW A NUDE WOMAN BY CHANCE"...P..:.I$"T
HE RESULT, I AFFIRM"...Z..:.H$"WAS EMMIS
ION OF SPERM".L.D..:.E$"IN THE ARCHIEPIS
COPAL PANTS".V.X..8500../ ..Y$C$"A SUNDA
Y SCHOOL STUDENT IN MASS".//...:." SOON
ROSE TO THE HEAD OF THE CLASS".S/...:.G
$"BY RECITING QUITE BRIGHT".V/...:.G$"AN
D BY SLEEPIG AT NIGHT"../H..:." WITH HIS
TONGUE UP THE MINISTERS ASS"../...8500.
./...Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN OF ST. G
ILES"..0...:."WHO'D WALKED THOUSANDS AND
THOUSANDS".90..."
OF MILES".`0...:.F$"FROM THE CAP
E OF GOOD HOPE,"..0"..:.G$"JUST TO BUGGE
R THE POPE,"..0,..:."BUT HE COULDN'T - T
HE PONTIFF HAD PILES"..0@..8500..0H..Y$"
THERE WAS AN OLD ABBESS QUITE SHOCKED".
.1R..:."TO FIND NUNS WHERE THE CANDLES W
ERE "./1W..T$L$"LOCKED".V1|..:.G$".SAID
THE ABBESS, 'YOU NUNS".1...:.F$"SHOULD
BEHAVE MORE LIKE GUNS,"..1...:." AND NE
VER GO OFF TILL YOU'RE COCKED"..1...8500
..1L..Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG MONK FROM S
IBERIA"..2V..:.D$"WHOSE MORALS WERE VERY
INFERIOR"..2...:.L$"HE DID TO A NUN ".U
2...:.F$"WHAT HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE"..2
...:.D$"AND NOW SHE'S A MOTHER SUPERIOR"
..2...8500..20..Y$E$"A BISHOP WHOSE SEE
WAS VERMONT"..2:..:." USED TO JERK HIMS
ELF OFF IN THE FONT"..3D..:.I$"THE BAPTI
STRY STANK".%3N..:.H$"WITH AN ODOR MOST
RANK".S3X..:.C$"AND NO ONE WOULD DARE SI
T UP FRONT".]3L..8500..3...Y$" THERE WA
S A YOUNG VIRGIN NAMED ALICE"..3...:."
WHO THOUGHT OF HER CUNT AS A CHALICE"..3
...:.H$"ONE NIGHT SLEEPING NUDE"..4...:.
I$"SHE AWOKE FEELING LEWD".04...:.B$"AND
FOUND IN HER CHALICE A PHALLUS".:4P..85
00.I4...Y$" THERE ONCE WAS A TART NAMED
BELINDA"..4...:." WHOSE CUNT OPENED OU
T LIKE A WINDOW".A4...:.D$"BUT SHE'D SLA
M THE THING SHUT"..4...:.H$"THE CONTEMPT
IBLE SLUT"..5 ..:.B$"WHENEVER YOU TRIED
TO GET IN DERE"..54..8500.F5\..Y$C$"THER
E WAS A YOUNG VIRGIN OF DOVER".W5F..:."
WHO WAS RAPED IN THE WOODS BY A DROVER".
.5P..:.H$"WHEN THE GOING GOT HARD"..5Z..
:.H$"HE GREASED HER WITH LARD"..5...:."W
HICH FELT NICE SO THEY STARTED ALL OVER"
..5...8500.(6...Y$C$"THERE WAS A YOUNG G
IRL OF DALKEITH".R6J..:.E$"WITH A HYMEN
IN NEED OF RELIEF".W6T..:.G$"SO SHE WENT
TO THE DOCTOR"..6...:.F$"WHO PRODDED AN
D SHOCKED HER".O6...:." AND STETCHED IT
WITH FINGERS AND TEETH".Y6...8500..7$..Y
$" THE FIRST LOVE OF A LADY NAMED EDERLE
".:7...:."FOUND HER HYMEN OBSTRUCTED HIM
STEADILY".C78..:.E$"BUT HE MERELY RUBBE
D LARD ON "..7B..:.H$"THE END OF HIS HAR
D-ON "..7L..:."AND THEN FOUND HE ENTERE
D QUITE READILY".B7`..8500..7...Y$D$"THE
RE WAS A YOUNG MAN OF PERU"..8...:.D$"WH
O DREAMT HE WAS HAD BY A JEW".48...:.J$"
HE WOKE UP AT NIGHT".W8...:.H$"IN ONE HE
LL OF A FRIGHT"..8...:.D$"AND FOUND IT W
AS PERFECTLY TRUE"..8D..8500..8...Y$" T
HERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED CLYDE"..8.
..:.D$"WHO FELL IN TO A SEWER AND DIED".
.9...:.K$"HIS BROTHER HUGH "..9...:.L$"H
E FELL IN TOO".N9...:." AND NOW THEY'RE
INTERRED SIDE BY SIDE".X9(..8500.}9P..Y$
F$"AN IGNORANT VIRGIN OF DEE"..9Z..:."
ENTERTAINED A MAN'S COCK JUST TO SEE".U9
D..:.F$"IF THE DARN THING WOULD FIT-"..9
N..:.H$"IT WENT OFF IN HER PIT,".&:X..:.
"AND SHE CRIED, 'HEY! THAT'S NO PLACE".8
:...T$L$"TO PEE".B:...8500.Q:...Y$" THE
RE WAS A YOUNG GIRL FROM HOBOKEN"..:...:
." WHO CLAIMED THAT HER HYMEN WAS BROKEN
"..:H..:.I$"FROM RIDING A BIKE"..:R..:.G
$"ON A COBBLESTONE PIKE"..;...:." BUT IT
REALLY WAS BROKEN FROM POKIN'."..;...85
00.I;...Y$" THERE IS A YOUNG GIRL FROM
NEW YORK".X;"..:.D$"WHO WAS DEATHLY AFRA
ID OF THE STORK"..;,..:.E$"YOU WILL FIND
SHE IS TAPED"..;6..:.G$"TO PREVENT BEIN
G RAPED"..;@..:."AND HER ASS-HOLE IS PLU
GGED WITH A CORK"..;T..8500.)<|..Y$B$"TH
ERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW FROM OUDH".T<...:
.C$"WHOSE MIND WAS EXCESSIVELY LEWD".W<.
..:.G$"HE ASSERTED, 'ALL WOMEN"..<...:.G
$"SEEN DANCIN' OR SWIMMIN'".K<...:." WO
ULD RATHER BE HOME GETTIN' SCREWED".U<..
.8500..=...Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL F
ROM SOFIA".1=...:." WHO SUCCUMBED TO HE
R LOVER'S DESIRE".Q=...:.I$"SHE SAID 'IT
'S A SIN".Q=...:.I$"BUT NOW THAT IT'S IN
"..=...:." COULD YOU SHOVE IT A FEW INCH
ES HIGHER"..=...8500..=D..Y$" THERE WAS
A YOUNG GIRL OF SPITZBERGEN"..>N..:." WH
OSE PEOPLE ALL THOUGHT HER A VIRGIN".2>X
..:.F$"TILL THEY FOUND HER IN BED".T>B..
:.H$"WITH HER CUNT VERY RED"..>L..:." A
ND THE HEAD OF A KID JUST EMERGIN'"..>..
.8500..>...Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW
NAMED SWEENEY"..>...:.C$"WHOSE GIRL WAS
A TERRIBLE MEANY"..?...:.G$"THE HATCH OF
HER SNATCH".4?F..:.E$"HAD A CATCH THAT
WOULD LATCH".F?P..:."AND SHE COULD ONLY
BE SCREWED BY HOUDINI".P?...8500..?...Y$
" THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL NAME OF VENUS".
L?...:.B$"WHO HAD NEVER ENCOUNTERED A PE
NIS"..? ..:.E$"WHEN VAN STONE THREW HIS
IN"..@*..:.G$"IT WENT UP TO HER CHIN".D@
4..:."BUT THE BORE, NOT THE STROKE, WAS
THE".W@>..T$K$"MEANEST".A@H..8500..@P..:
.:.D$"THERE ONCE WAS AN ETON B. A."..@U.
.B$"WHO PONDERED THE PROBLEM ALL DAY".U@
Z..G$"OF WHAT THERE WOULD BE"..@..L$"IF
C-U-N-T"..A...G$"WERE DIVIDED BY C-O-C-
K"./A...:.:.G$"A YOUNG PH.D PASSING BY".
XA...C$"SHE GAVE HIM THE PROBLEM TO TRY"
.YA...H$"HE WORKED THE DIVISION "..A...H
$"WITH PERFECT PRECISION"..A...E$"AND TH
E ANSWER WAS B-A-B-Y".GA...8500..AT..Y$B
$"THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL OF BOMBAY"..B..
.:.D$"WHO WAS PUT IN THE FAMILY WAY".?B.
..:.H$"BY THE MATE OF A LUGGER".]B...:.J
$"AN IGNORANT BUGGER"..B...:.C$"WHO ALWA
YS SPELLED CUNT WITH A K"..B...8500.AB8.
.Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN OF CAPE HORN
"..BB..:.B$"WHO WISHED HE HAD NEVER BEEN
BORN"..CL..:.G$"AND HE WOULDNT HAVE BEE
N".4CV..:.H$"IF HIS FATHER HAD SEEN".CC`
..:." THAT THE END OF THE RUBBER WAS TO
RN".MCT..8500..C...Y$;"THERE WAS A YOUNG
GIRL FROM THE FIVE"..C...T$K$"AND TEN".
.C...:.".WHO DIDDLED HERSELF WITH A FOUN
TAIN PEN"..C...:.J$"THE TOP CAME OFF"..D
...:.J$"THE INK WENT WILD".JDD..:."AND N
OW SHE'S THE MOTHER OF A COLOURED".[DI..
T$M$"CHILD".EDX..8500..D...Y$C$"THERE WA
S A YOUNG GIRL OF MADRID"..D...:.B$"WHO
THOUGHT SHE'D BE HAVING A KID"..D...:.F$
"SO BY HOLDING HER WATER"..E...:.E$"THRE
E MONTHS AND A QUARTER".7E(..:." SHE DRO
WNED THE POOR BASTARD, SHE DID".AE<..850
0.RED..Y$;" THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL FROM
NEW YORK". EN..:.B$"WHO EXPECTED A CALL
FROM THE STORK".DEX..:.F$"SO WITH INFIN
ITE CAUTION"..E...:.E$"SHE PERFORMED AN
ABORTION"..F...:." WITH AN ICEPICK, A S
POON AND A FORK"."F ..8500.PFH..Y$B$"THE
RE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM RANGOON"..FR..:.
"WHO WAS BORN AT LEAST THREE MONTHS TOO"
..FW..T$N$"SOON"..F...:.I$".HE HADN'T TH
E LUCK".OF...:.H$"TO BE BORN OF A FUCK".
.F...:." BUT WAS SHOVELED IN COLD ON A
SPOON"..G...8500.8G,..Y$" THERE WAS A Y
OUNG LADY NAMED SHARKEY".CG6..:.C$"WHO H
AD AN AFFAIR WITH A DARKEY"..G@..:.G$"TH
E RESULT OF HER SINS"..GJ..:.E$"WAS QUAD
RUPLETS, NOT TWINS".YGT..:." ONE WHITE,
ONE BLACK AND TWO KHAKI"..GH..8500..H..
.Y$E$"A FEARLESS YOUNG SPERMATAZOA".4H..
.:.D$"REMARKED TO AN OVUM, 'HELLOA'".WH.
..:.G$"WE'D MAKE A CUTE FOETUS".H...:.D
$"BUT I FEAR SHE'D MISTREAT US"..H...:."
BY THE SMELL OF THIS PLACE, SHE'S A "..H
B..T$M$"WHOAH".HHL..8500..H...Y$B$"THERE
WAS A YOUNG MAN OF AUSTRALIA".$I...:.B$
"WHO PAINTED HIS ARSE LIKE A DAHLIA".DI.
..:.H$"HIS DRAWING WAS FINE".AI...:.I$"T
HE COLOUR DIVINE"..I...:."BUT THE SMELL,
CHRIST THAT WAS A FAILURE"..I0..8500.JI
X..Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG QUEEN OF BAROD
A"..IB..:.D$"WHO BUILT A NEW KIND OF PAG
ODA"..JL..:.G$"THE WALLS OF ITS HALLS".?
JV..:.D$"WERE FESTOONED WITH THE BALLS".
QJ...:."AND THE TOOLS OF THE FOOLS THAT
HAD RODE"..J...T$O$".HER"..J...8500..J..
.Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED BLIS
S"..JF..:.B$"WHOSE SEX LIFE WAS STRANGEL
Y AMISS"..KP..:.I$"FOR EVEN WITH VENUS".
)KZ..:.H$"HIS RECALCITRANT PENIS".QK...:
.D$"WOULD NEVER DO BETTER THAN T".^K...T
$J$"H".KK...T$J$"I".XK...T$J$"S"..K...85
00..K ..Y$" THERE ONCE WAS AN ACTRESS O
F BONELY"..K*..:." AND THE MEN NEVER LE
T HER BE LONELY"..L4..:.F$"SO SHE HUNG O
UT IN FRONT ".$L>..:.H$"OF HER POPULAR C
UNT".SLH..:." A SIGN READING 'STANDING
ROOM ONLY'".]L\..8500..L...Y$;"ON A BRID
GE SAT THE BISHOP OF BUCKINGHAM".AL...:.
". THINKING OF TWATS AND OF SUCKING THEM
"..L...:.F$"AND WATCHING THE STUNTS"..M.
..:.E$"OF THE CUNTS IN THE PUNTS".9M...:
."AND THE TRICKS OF THE PRICKS THAT WERE
".QM...T$F$"FUCKING THEM".[M...8500..M..
.Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY FROM CHINA"
..M...:." WHO MISTOOK FOR HER MOUTH HER
VAGINA".UM...:.I$"HER CLITORIS HUGE"..M
...:.E$"SHE COVERED WITH ROUGE".!N...:.C
$"AND LIPSTICKED HER LABIA MINOR".+N$..8
500.[NL..Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM
THE COAST"..NV..:.C$"WHO RECEIVED A PAR
CEL BY POST"..N`..:.F$"IT CONTAINED, SO
I HEARD".ENJ..:.I$"A TRIANGULAR TURD"..N
T..:."AND THE BALLS OF HIS GRANDFATHER'S
GHOST"..O...8500.2O...Y$" THERE WAS AN
OLD FELLOW NAMED FLETCHER".]O...:.C$"A L
EWD AND PERVERTED OLD LECHER"..OD..:.G$"
IN A SPIRIT OF MEANNESS". ON..:.H$"HE CU
T OFF HIS PENIS".KOX..:.C$"AND NOW HE RE
GRETS IT, I BETCHA".UO...8500..P...Y$B$"
THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY WHOSE JOYS".2P...
:." WERE ACHIEVED WITH INCOMPARABLE POIS
E".VP(..:.G$"SHE COULD HAVE AN ORGASM".V
P2..:.I$"WITHOUT EVEN A SPASM"..P<..:.C$
"AND FART WITHOUT MAKING A NOISE"..PP..8
500.YPX..Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL NAM
ED LOISE"..Q...:." WHOSE PUBES HUNG DOW
N TO HER KNEES".(Q...:.H$"THE CRABS IN H
ER TWAT".KQ...:.G$"TIED THE HAIR IN A KN
OT".WQ ..:.B$"AND CONSTRUCTED A FLYING T
RAPEZE"..Q...8500..Q...Y$" WHILE TITIAN
WAS MIXING ROSE-MADDER"..Q...:.B$"HIS M
ODEL POSED NUDE ON A LADDER"..Q...:.F$"H
ER POSITION, TO TITIAN".$R...:."
SUGGESTED COITION".UR...:."SO HE CLIMB
ED UP THE LADDER AND HAD 'ER"._R...8500.
.R@..Y$E$"A BUS-MAN NAMED ABNER MCFUSS".
.RJ..:."LIKED TO SUCK OFF SMALL BOYS ON
HIS BUS"..RT..:.E$"THEN GO OUT AND SNIFF
TURDS"..S^..:.D$"AND THE ARSEHOLES OF B
IRDS -".0SH..:.D$"HE SURE WAS A FUNNY OL
D CUSS!".:S|..8500.HS...Y$B$"THERE WAS A
YOUNG MAN NAMED MORELL"..S...:." WHO PL
AYED WITH HIS PRICK TILL HE FELL"..S...:
.E$"WHEN TO GET UP, HE STARTED"..SB..:.I
$"HE SUDDENLY FARTED"..TL..:." AND FELL
DOWN AGAIN FROM THE SMELL"..T...8500.CT
. .Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN NAMED MORI
TZ".QT. .:." WHO WAS SUBJECT TO PASSION
ATE FITS"..T. .:.F$"BUT HIS PLEASURE IN
LIFE"..T& .:.F$"WAS TO SUCK OFF HIS WIFE
"..T0 .:." AS HE SWUNG BY HIS KNEES BY H
ER TITS"..TD .8500. UL .Y$B$"THERE WAS A
YOUNG LADY NAMED NELLY".QUV .:." WHOSE
TITS COULD BE JUGGLED LIKE JELLY".WU. .:
.E$"THEY COULD TICKLE HER TWAT"..U. .:.J
$"BE TIED IN A KNOT".CU. .:." AND SHE CO
ULD EVEN SWAT FLIES ON HER".TU. .T$M$"BE
LLY"..U. .8500..VP .Y$E$"A HERMIT WHO HA
D AN OASIS".4VZ .:." THOUGHT IT WAS THE
BEST OF ALL PLACES".YV. .:.E$"HE COULD
PRAY AND BE CALM"..V. .:.D$"'NEATH A PLE
ASANT DATE PALM"..V. .:."WHILE THE LICE
ON HIS BOLLOCKS RAN RACES"..V.!.8500.FV3
!.8509..W4!."...........................
.....PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE."..W5!.A$
:.A$."".8501.%W6!.".".0W7!.I.I.1.>W8!.I.
3.8506.DW9!..HW:!." .LIMERICK
NO..";L.SW;!.L.L.1.YW<!...W=!.Y$D$"THER
E WAS A YOUNG GIRL OF PERU".MW>!.:.D$"WH
O HAD NOTHING WHATEVER TO DO"..WH!.:.G$"
SO SHE SAT ON THE STAIRS "..XR!.:.H$"AND
COUNTED CUNT HAIRS".DX\!.:." FOUR THOUS
AND, THREE HUNDRED, AND TWO".NXP!.8500.|
X.!.Y$C$"THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN OF PITLOC
HRY"..X.!.:.C$"WHOSE MORALS WERE SIMPLY
A MOCKERY".GX.!.:.K$"FOR UNDER THE BED".
.X.!.:.H$"HE'D A WOMAN, INSTEAD"..Y.!.:.
D$"OF THE USUAL ITEM OF CROCKERY"..YT!.8
500.EY.!.Y$D$"A DETECTIVE NAMED ELLERY Q
UEEN".MY.".:.C$"HAS OLFACTORY POWERS SO
KEEN"..Y.".:.H$"HE CAN TELL IN A FLASH".
.Y.".:.H$"BY THE SCENT OF A GASH"..Y$".:
.C$"WHO ITS PREVIOUS TENANT HAS BEEN"..Y
8".8500..Z`".Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG ANGEL
NAMED RAYLOE".DZJ".:.B$"WHO HARD BY HIS
ARSE WORE HIS HALO".EZT".:.I$"WHEN ASKE
D ITS INTENT"..Z~".:.H$"HE REPLIED, AS H
E BENT"..Z.".:." IT SANTIFIES THOSE WHO
WOULD PLAY LOW".AZ.".8500..ZD".Y$C$"THER
E WAS A YOUNG MAN OF ST JAMES"..[N".:.B$
"WHO INDULGED IN THE JOLLIEST GAMES".=[X
".:.H$"HE LIGHT UP THE FRONT".A[.".:.G$"
OF HIS GRANDMOTHERS CUNT"..[.".:."AND LA
UGHED AS SHE PISSED THROUGH THE"..[.".T$
L$"FLAMES"..[.#.8500.Y[(#.Y$B$"THERE WAS
A YOUNG MAN FROM VENICE"..\2#.:."WHO PL
AYED A GOOD GAME OF LAWN TENNIS"..\<#.:.
F$"BUT THE GAME HE LIKED BEST".P\F#.:.H$
"FAR MORE THAN THE REST"..\P#.:."WAS PLA
YED WITH TWO BALLS AND A PENNIS"..\D#.85
00..\.#.Y$E$"A LADY ATHLETIC AND HANDSOM
E"..\.#.:."GOT WEDGED IN HER SLEEPING RO
OM TRANSOM"..] #.:.E$"WHEN SHE OFFERED M
UCH GOLD"..].#.:.G$"FOR RELEASE, SHE WAS
TOLD".]].#.:."THAT THE VIEW WAS WORTH M
ORE THAN THE".O].#.T$L$"RANSOM".Y]H#.850
0..].#.Y$C$"I SAT NEXT TO THE DUCHESS AT
TEA".T].#.:.B$"IT WAS JUST AS I FEARED
IT WOULD BE"..].$.:.G$"HER RUMBLINGS ABD
OMINAL"..^.$.:.H$"WERE SIMPLY PHENOMINAL
".C^.$.:.D$"AND EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS
ME".M^,$.8500.}^T$.Y$"THERE WAS A YOUNG
GIRL WHOSE FRIGIDITY"..^^$.:.D$"APPROACH
ED CATALEPTIC RIGIDITY".L^H$.:.G$"TILL Y
OU GAVE HER A DRINK"..^R$.:.F$"WHEN SHE
QUICKLY WOULD SINK".!_|$.:." IN A STATE
OF COMPLACENT LIQUIDITY".+_.$.8500.\_.$
.Y$"THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED LANCE
LOT".._B$.:."WHOM HIS NEIGHBOURS ALL LOO
KED ON". _G$.T$E$"ASKANCE A LOT".._L$.:.
I$"WHENEVER HE'D PASS ".._V$.:.J$"A PRES
ENTABLE LASS"..`.$.:."THE FRONT OF HIS P
ANTS WOULD ADVANCE A"..`.$.T$O$"LOT".&`.
$.8500.S`.%.Y$B$"THE DONG OF A FELLOW NA
MED GRABLE"..`&%.:.B$"WAS AS PLIANT AND
LONG AS A CABLE"..`0%.:.G$"EACH NIGHT WH
ILE HE ATE ".H`:%.:.G$"THIS CONFIRMED RE
PROBATE"..`D%.:." WOULD SCREW HIS WIFE U
NDER THE TABLE"..AX%.8500./A.%.Y$" THE R
OSY CHEEKED LASS FROM DUNELLEN".^A.%.:."
WHOM THE HOBOKEN SAILORS CALLED HELEN"..
A.%.:.G$"IN HER EFFORTS TO PLEASE "..A.%
.:.H$"SPREAD SOCIAL DISEASE".OA.%.:."FRO
M NEW YORK TO THE STRAIGHTS OF"..A.%.T$J
$"MAGELLAN"..A.%.8500..B.%.Y$" THE CHIEF
CHARM OF A WHORE IN SHALOTT".LB.%.:.B$"
WAS THE ABSENCE OF HAIR ON HER TWAT".RB.
%.:.G$"SHE KEPT IT SMOOTH LOOKING"..B.&.
:.F$"NOT BY SHAVING OR PLUCKING".EB.&.:.
" BUT BY ALL OF THE FUCKING SHE GOT".OB
&.8500..BH&.Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL
OF MAURITIUS".)CR&.:."WHO DECLARED THAT
LAST SCREW WAS ".>CW&.T$H$"DELICIOUS".D
C\&.:.G$"BUT THE NEXT TIME YOU COME"..CF
&.:.H$"WONT YOU COME UP MY BUM"..CP&.:."
THAT WART ON YOUR COCK LOOKS SUSPICIOUS"
.BC.&.8500..C.&.Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG M
AN OF CALCUTTA"..D.&.:.B$"WHOSE BALLS WE
RE TURNING TO BUTTER".?D.&.:.F$"IN A DAY
OF GREAT HEAT".`DJ&.:.H$"THE FOLKS HAD
A TREAT"..DT&.:."AS HIS TESTICLES FLOWED
DOWN THE GUTTER"..D.&.8500.FD.'.Y$D$"A
LADY ON CLIMBING MOUNT SHASTA"..D.'.:."C
OMPLAINED AS THE MOUNTAIN GREW VASTER"..
E$'.:.G$"THAT IT WASN'T THE CLIMB ".@E.'
.:.F$"OR THE DIRT AND THE GRIME".OE8'.:.
"BUT THE ICE ON HER ARSE THAT HARASSED".
~EB'.T$O$"HER"..EL'.8500..ET'.Y$" THERE
WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED GOFF"..E~'.:."
WHOSE AMUSEMENT WAS JACKING IT OFF"..F.
'.:.I$"HE PULLED IT SO HARD".'F.'.:.H$"I
T STRETCHED OUT A YARD".WF.'.:."AND TURN
ED TO BRIGHT BLUE AND FELL OFF".AF.'.850
0..FX'.Y$"THERE WAS A YOUNG PAIR OF ABER
YSTWYTH"..F.'.:."WHO UNITED THE ORGANS T
HEY KISSED WITH"..F.'.:.H$"BUT AS THEY G
REW OLDER"..G.'.:.H$"THEY ALSO GREW BOLD
ER".3G.(.:."AND UNITED THE ORGANS THEY P
ISSED WITH".=G.(.8500.GG<(.Y$D$"THERE WA
S A YOUNG LADY OF DISS"..GF(.:.D$"WHO WE
NT TO THE RIVER TO PISS"..GP(.:.I$"THE M
EN IN THE PUNT".VGZ(.:.E$"SHOVED THE POL
E UP HER CUNT"..HD(.:." AND GAVE HER MO
ST EXQUISITE BLISS"..HX(.8500.=H (.Y$" T
HERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED MORGAN".MH
.(.:."WHO SAID TO HIS GIRL - YOU'RE A GO
RGON"..H.(.:.I$"FOR GORGONS ARE KNOWN"..
H.(.:.H$"TO TURN MEN INTO STONE"..HH(.:.
" AND SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY ORGAN".
.H.(.8500..I.).Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG FEL
LOW NAMED THWART".GI.).:."WHOSE PRICK AL
THOUGH THICK WAS QUITE".XI.).T$M$"SHORT"
..I.).:.E$"BUT TO MAKE UP FOR THIS LOSS"
..I").:.F$"HE HAD BALLS LIKE A HORSE".QI
,).:.C$"AND NEVER SHOT LESS THAN A QUART
"..I@).8500..JH).Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG F
ELLOW OF STRENSALL".:JR).:." WHOSE PRICK
WAS AS SHARP AS A PENCIL".`J|).:.G$"IT
WENT THROUGH AN ACTRESS"..J.).:.F$"THREE
SHEETS AND A MATRESS"..J.).:.B$"AND SHA
TTERED THE CHAMBER UTENSIL"..J.).8500..J
L).Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED GRA
CE"..KV).:."WHO WOULD NOT TAKE A PRICK I
N HER PLACE".DK.).:.F$"BUT THOUGH SHE'D
NOT FUCK IT".IK.).:.G$"SHE'D KISS IT AND
SUCK IT"..K.).:.E$"AND LET IT GO OFF IN
HER FACE"..K.*.8500.LK0*.Y$"THERE WAS A
YOUNG BISHOP OF BERMINGHAM"..K:*.:."WHO
DEFLOWERED YOUNG GIRLS WHILE"..L?*.T$"C
ONFIRMING THEM".0LD*.:.H$"MID LITURGICAL
CHANTS".ZLN*.:.E$"HE WOULD TAKE DOWN TH
EIR PANTS"..LX*.:."AND RELEASE HIS EPISC
OPAL SPERM IN 'EM"..LL*.8500.BL.*.Y$B$"T
HERE WAS A YOUNG LADY OF BISESTER"..L.*.
:." WHO WAS NICER BY FAR THAN HER SISTER
"..M.*.:.G$"THE SISTER WOULD GIGGLE".5M.
*.:.H$"AND WIGGLE AND JIGGLE".DM.*.:."BU
T THIS ONE WOULD COME IF YOU KISSED".SMA
*.T$O$"HER".}MP*.8500..M.*.Y$B$"THERE WA
S A YOUNG MAN FROM CALCUTTA"..M.+.:." WH
O WAS HEARD IN HIS BEARD TO MUTTER"..M.+
.:.G$"IF HER BARTHOLIN GLANDS"."N.+.:.G$
"DONT RESPOND TO MY HANDS".QN +.:."I'M A
FRAID I SHALL HAVE TO USE BUTTER".[N4+.8
500..N\+.Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY OF G
LOUCESTER"..NF+.:."WHOSE FRIENDS THEY TH
OUGHT THEY HAD".KNK+.T$J$"LOST HER"..NP+
.:.E$"TILL THEY FOUND ON THE GRASS"..OZ+
.:.H$"THE MARKS OF HER ARSE".>O.+.:."AND
THE KNEES OF THE MAN WHO HAD".UO.+.T$G$
"CROSSED HER"._O.+.8500..O.+.Y$C$"THERE
WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM PURDUE"..OJ+.:.B$"W
HO WAS ONLY JUST LEARNING TO SCREW"..OT+
.:.G$"BUT HE HADN'T THE KNACK"..P.+.:.H$
"AND HE GOT TO FAR BACK"..P.+.:."IN THE
RIGHT CHURCH BUT IN THE WRONG".=P.+.T$O$
"PEW".GP.+.8500.RP$,.Y$D$"THERE WAS A YO
UNG LADY OF RHYLL"..P.,.:.B$"IN AN OMNIB
US WAS TAKEN QUITE ILL".FP8,.:.G$"SO SHE
CALLED THE CONDUCTOR"..PB,.:.F$"WHO GOT
IN AND FUCKED HER"..QL,.:." WHICH DID
HER MORE GOOD THAN A PILL".$Q`,.8500.SQ.
,.Y$"THERE WAS A YOUNG GERMAN NAMED RING
ER".Q.,.:.C$"WHO WAS SCREWING AN OPERA
SINGER"..Q.,.:.I$"SAID HE WITH A GRIN"..
Q.,.:.I$"I'VE GOT IT RIGHT IN"..Q.,.:.C$
" SAID SHE 'AINT THAT YOUR FINGER'"..QD,
.8500.%R.,.Y$"THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW N
AMED SKINNER".PR.,.:.D$"WHO TOOK A YOUNG
LADY TO DINNER".PR.-.:.I$"AT A QUARTER
TO NINE"..R.-.:.H$"THEY SAT DOWN TO DINE
"..R.-.:.C$"AT TWENTY TO TEN IT WAS IN H
ER".ER(-.8500..RP-.Y$D$"THERE WAS A YOUN
G LADY OF SPAIN"..SZ-.:.B$"WHO TOOK DOWN
HER PANTS ON A TRAIN".@SD-.:.H$"A NAUGH
TY YOUNG PORTER".BSN-.:.H$"SAW MORE THAN
HE ORTER"..SX-.:.C$" AND ASKED HER TO D
O IT AGAIN"..S.-.8500.DS.-.Y$" THERE ONC
E WAS A DENTIST NAMED STONE"..S.-.:.B$"W
HO SAW ALL OF HIS PATIENTS ALONE"..TH-.:
.I$"IN A FIT OF DEPRAVITY".6TR-.:.G$"HE
FILLED A WRONG CAVITY".CT.-.:.B$"AND MY
HOW HIS PRACTICE HAS GROWN".MT.-.8500..T
...Y$D$"A SAILOR HHO SLEPT IN THE SUN".E
T"..:.B$"WOKE TO FIND HIS FLY BUTTONS UN
DONE"..T,..:.G$"HE REMARKED WITH A SMILE
"..U6..:.H$"JESUS CHRIST A SUNDIAL!".8U
@..:.C$" AND NOW ITS A QUARTER PAST ONE"
.BUT..8500.PU|..Y$B$"A PLUMBER WHOSE NAM
E WAS TEN BRINK"..U...:."PLUMBED A COOK
AS SHE STOOD AT A SINK".CU...:.G$"HER RE
SISTANCE WAS STOUT"..U...:.F$"AND TEN BR
INK PETERED OUT"..V...:." WITH HIS WREN
CH ALL LIMBER AND PINK".!V...8500.KV...Y
$D$"IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN LAY ADAM".VV..
.:.D$"COMPLACENTLY STROKING HIS MADAM"..
V...:.H$"AND LOUD WAS HIS MIRTH"..V...:.
G$"FOR ON ALL OF THE EARTH"..V./.:."THER
E WERE ONLY TWO BALLS AND HE HAD EM"..V.
/.8500.%WD/.Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG DAMSEL
NAMED BAKER".SWN/.:.B$"WHO WAS POKED IN
A PEW BY A QUAKER".UWX/.:.H$"HE YELLED
'MY GOD WHAT"..WB/.:.F$"DO YOU CALL THIS
- A TWAT".IWL/.:."WHY THE ENTRANCE IS M
ORE THAN AN ACRE".SW./.8500..W./.Y$D$"TH
ERE WAS A YOUNG MAN OF BENGAL.'X./.:.D$"
WHO SWORE HE HAD ONLY ONE BALL".IX./.:.H
$"BUT TWO CLEVER BITCHES".LXF/.:.H$"UNBU
TTONED HIS BRITCHES"..XP/.:.B$"AND FOUND
HE HAD NO BALLS AT ALL"..X./.8500.QX.0.
Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED BOWEN
"..X.0.:.B$"WHOSE PENIS KEPT GROWIN AND
GROWIN". Y 0.:.I$"IT GREW SO TREMENDOUS"
.DY*0.:.G$"SO LONG AND SO PENDULOUS".UY4
0.:."IT WAS NO GOOD FOR FUCKIN - JUST SH
OWIN".YH0.8500..YP0.Y$B$"THERE WAS A YO
UNG LADY NAMED BRENT".VYZ0.:.D$"WHO A CU
NT OF ENORMOUS EXTENT"..Y.0.:.G$"AND SO
DEEP AND SO WIDE"..Z.0.:.H$"WITH ACOUSTI
CS INSIDE".JZ.0.:." SO GOOD YOU COULD HE
AR WHEN YOU SPENT".TZ.0.8500..ZT0.Y$B$"T
HERE ONCE WAS A QUEEN OF BULGARIA"..Z.0.
:." WHO CUNT WAS ALWAYS GETTING HAIRIER"
.SZ.0.:.G$"TILL A PRINCE FROM PERU"..Z.0
.:.G$"WHO CAME UP FOR A SCREW".'{.0.:."H
AD TO HUNT FOR HER CUNT WITH A TERRIER".
1{.1.8500.]{81.Y$C$"THERE WAS A YOUNG MA
N OF DEVIZES"..{B1.:.B$"WHOSE BALLS WERE
OF DIFFERENT SIZES"..{L1.:.I$"HIS TOOL
WHEN AT EASE".U{V1.:.E$"HUNG RIGHT DOWN
TO HIS KNEES"..|`1.:.B$"OH HWAT MUST IT
BE WHEN IT RISES"..|T1.8500.;|.1.Y$" THE
RE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW FROM FLORIDA".L|.1
.:."WHO LIKED A FRIENDS WIFE SO HE BORRO
WED".{|.1.T$O$"HER"..|.1.:.H$".WHEN THEY
GOT INTO BED".F|.1.:.F$"HE CRIED GOD!
STIKE ME DEAD"..|D1.:.B$"THIS AINT A CUN
T - ITS A CORRIDOR"..|X1.8500.*}.2.Y$" T
HERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW OF HARROW".X}.2.
:." WHOSE COCK WAS THE SIZE OF A MARROW"
.W}.2.:.I$"HE SAID TO HIS TART"..}.2.:.H
$"HOW'S THIS FOR A START".F}(2.:.B$"MY B
ALLS ARE OUTSIDE IN A BARROW!".P}<2.8500
..}D2.Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN FROM HON
G KONG".$~N2.:.F$"WHO HAD A TRIPLICATE D
ONG".G~X2.:.G$"A SMALL ONE FOR SUCKING".
J~.2.:.H$"A LARGE ONE FOR FUCKING"..~.2.
:.B$"AND A WHOPPER FOR BEATING A GONG".
~ 2.8500.O~H2.Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG GIRL
NAMED MC CALL"..~R2.:.B$"WHOSE CUNT WAS
EXCEEDINGLY SMALL"...2.:.E$"BUT THE SI
ZE OF HER ANUS".F.2.:.E$"WAS SOMETHING
QUITE HEINOUS".W.2.:."IT COULD HOLD SEV
EN PRICKS AND ONE BALL"...3.8500..,3.Y
$D$"THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN OF MADRAS"..6
3.:." WHOSE BALLS WERE CONSTRUCTED OF BR
ASS"..@3.:.I$"WHEN JANGLED TOGETHER".%.
J3.:.E$"THEY PLAYED 'STORMY WEATHER'".S.
T3.:." AND LIGHTNING SHOT OUT OF HIS AR
SE".].H3.8500....3.Y$D$"THE TESTES ARE C
OOLER OUTSIDE!"....3.:.B$"SAID THE DOC T
O THE CURIOUS BRIDE".V..3.:.G$"FOR THE S
EMEN MUST NOT"....3.:.I$"GET TOO FUCKING
HOT".$..3.:."AND THE BAG FANS YOUR BUM
ON THE RIDE"...L3.8500.]..3.Y$B$"THERE W
AS A YOUNG GIRL OF PAWTUCKET"....3.:.B$"
WHOSE TWAT WAS AS BIG AS A BUCKET"....4.
:.G$"HER BOY-FRIEND SAID TOOTS".R..4.:.H
$"I'LL HAVE TO WEAR BOOTS"....4.:." FOR
I SEE I MUST MUCK IT NOT FUCK IT"...04.8
500.:.X4.Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAM
ED RIDDLE".C.B4.:.D$"WHO HAD AN UNTOUCHA
BLE MIDDLE"...L4.:.I$"SHE HAD MANY FRIEN
DS"...V4.:.I$"BECAUSE OF HER ENDS".Q..4.
:." SINCE IT ISN'T THE MIDDLE YOU DIDDLE
"....4.8500....4.Y$B$"THERE WAS A YOUNG
LADY FROM SPAIN".4.F4.:.C$"WHOSE FACE WA
S EXCEEDINGLY PLAIN".Y.P4.:.G$"BUT HER C
UNT HAD A PUCKER"..Z4.:.F$"THAT MADE TH
E MEN FUCK HER"....4.:.E$"AGAIN AND AGAI
N AND AGAIN"....4.8500.W. 5.Y$D$"THERE W
AS A OLD MAN OF TAGORE"...*5.:.B$"WHOSE
TOOL WAS A YARD LONG OR MORE".,.45.:.F$"
SO HE WORE THE DAMNED THING".K.>5.:.J$"I
N A SURGICAL SLING".W.H5.:.B$"TO KEEP IT
FROM WIPING THE FLOOR"...\5.8500....5.Y
$" THERE WAS A YOUNG HAYSEED FROM TIFFEN
"....5.:." WHOSE COCK WOULD CONSTANTLY
STIFFEN"....5.:.I$"THE KNOB OUT IN FRONT
". ..5.:.J$"ATTRACTED FOUL CUNT".M..5.:.
B$"WHICH TIFFIN DELIGHTED IN SNIFFIN".W.
.5.8500....5.Y$"THERE'S A CHARMING YOUNG
GIRL IN TOBRUK"....5.:.B$"WHO REFERS TO
HER CUNT AS A NOOK".W..5.:.H$"IT'S DEEP
AND IT'S WIDE"....6.:.H$"YOU CAN CURL U
P INSIDE".&..6.:.B$"WITH A NICE EASY CHA
IR AND A BOOK".0.$6.8500.A.L6.Y$"WHEN HE
TRIED TO INPUT HIS HUGE WHANGER"...V6.:
." A YOUNG MAN AROUSED HIS GIRLS ANGER"
...`6.:.G$"AS THEY STROVE IN THE DARK".Y
.J6.:.H$"SHE WAS HEARD TO REMARK"...T6.:
." WHAT YOU NEED IS A ZEPPELIN HANGER!"
....6.8500.D..6.Y$"THERE WAS A YOUNG LAU
NDRESS NAME WRANGLE".Q..6.:.B$".WHOSE TI
TS TILTED UP AT AN ANGLE"...D6.:.G$"THEY
MAY TICKLE MY CHIN"...N6.:.I$"SHE SAID
WITH A GRIN"...X6.:."BUT AT LEAST THEY K
EEP OUT OF THE MANGLE"....6.8500....7.Y$
F$"THERE WAS A LADY FROM ARDEN".C..7.:.E
$"WHO SUCKED OFF A MAN IN A GARDEN".D.(7
.:.I$"HE SAID 'MY DEAR FLO'"...27.:.D$"W
HERE DOES ALL THAT STUFF GO?"...<7.:." S
HE SAID (SWALLOW HARD) I BEG PARDON?".G.
P7.8500...X7.Y$B$"AN EXPLORER WHOSE HABI
TS WERE BLUNT"."..7.:.C$"ONCE FLAVORED S
OME CANNIBAL CUNT".E..7.:.G$"THE ARSEHOL
E WAS SHITTY".F..7.:.H$"AND MORE WAS THE
PITY"... 7.:." IT OOZED FROM THE REAR
TO THE FRONT"....7.8500.J..7.Y$D$"A FELL
ATRIX HEALTHFUL CONDITION"....7.:."PROVE
D THE VALUE OF SPUNK AS NUTRITION"....7.
:.J$"HER REMARKABLE DIET".D..7.:.E$"(AND
I SUGGEST THAT YOU TRY IT)".N..8.:.C$"W
AS ONLY HER CLIENTS EMMISSION".X..8.8500
. .@8.Y$E$"A GIRL WITH A SEBACEOUS CYST"
.Q.J8.:."WOULD COME WHEN HER ARSEHOLE WA
S KISSED"...T8.:.E$"HER LOVER WHILST GRA
TIFIED"...^8.:.F$"THAT SHE WAS SO SATISF
IED".H.H8.:.B$"REGRETTED THE FUN THAT HE
MISSED".R.|8.8500.}..8.Y$D$"THERE WAS A
N OLD MAN OF DECATER"....8.:.E$"TOOK OUT
HIS RED HOT POTATER".E..8.:.I$"HE TRIED
AT HER DENT"...B8.:.G$"BUT WHEN HIS THI
NG BENT"...L8.:."HE GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEE
S AND HE ATE HER".#..8.8500.P..9.Y$B$"TH
E PRIESTS AT THE TEMPLE OF ISIS".}..9.:.
B$"USED TO OFFER UP AMBER AND SPICES". .
.9.:.G$"THEN BACK OF THE SHRINE".E.&9.:.
F$"THE WOULD PLAT SIXTY-NINE"...09.:.C$"
AND OTHER UNMENTIONABLE VICES"...D9.8500
.#.L9.Y$D$"THERE WAS AN OLD MAID FROM LU
CK".P.V9.:.B$"WHO TOOK IT INTO HER HEAD
TO FUCK".S..9.:.G$"SHE WAS ABOUT TO RESI
GN"....9.:.G$"TILL SHE HUNG OUT A SIGN".
...9.:.D$"COME IN I'VE DECIDED TO SUCK".
I..9.8500...P9.Y$" A CANNY SCOTCH LASS
NAMED MC FARGLE".'.Z9.:." WITHOUT COAXIN
G AND SUCH ARGY-BARGLE".H..9.:.I$"WOULD
SUCK A MANS PUD".M..9.:.F$"JUST AS HARD
AS SHE COULD"....9.:."AND SHE SAVED UP T
HE SPERM FOR A GARGLE"....:.8500.W.4:.Y$
" SAID THE PREIST TO BRIDGET MC LENNIN".
..>:.:." SURE A KISS ON YOUR TWAT ISN'T
SINNIN".-.H:.:.F$"AND HE STUCK TO THIS S
TORY".P.R:.:.G$"TILL HE TASTED THE GORY"
..\:.:." AND MENSTRUOUS STATE SHE WAS T
HEN IN"...P:.8500....:.Y$" THERE WAS A
YOUNG FELLOW NAMED MEEK"....:.:.C$"WHO I
NVENTED THE LIGUAL TECHNIQUE"....:.:.H$"
IT DROVE WOMEN FRANTIC".)..:.:.H$"AND MA
DE THEM ROMANTIC".X..:.:." AND WORE ALL
THE HAIR OFF HIS CHEEK".B.T:.8500....:.
Y$" AN OLD DOCTOR WHO LACKED PROTOPLASM
".A..;.:."TRIED TO GIVE HIS YOUNG WIFE A
N ORGASM"....;.:.D$"BUT HIS TONGUE JUMPE
D THE TRACK"....;.:.E$"TWIXT THE FRONT A
ND THE BACK".C.$;.:." AND GOT PINCHED I
N A BAD ANAL SPASM".M.8;.8500.|.`;.Y$" T
HERE WAS A YOUNG MAN OF SAINT KITTS"...J
;.:." WHO WAS VERY MUCH TROUBLED WITH F
ITS".R.T;.:.F$"AFTER CHEWING A GIRLS CUN
T"...~;.:.H$"HE'D GIVE A LOUD GRUNT"....
;.:.D$"AND TRY TO BITE OFF HER TITS".&..
;.8500.U.D;.Y$" A YOUNG BRIDE WAS ONCE
HEARD TO SAY".Y.N;.:.G$"OH DEAR I'M WEAR
ING AWAY"...X;.:.G$"THE INSIDES OF MY TH
IGHS".B..;.:.G$"LOOK JUST LIKE MINCE PIE
S"....;.:." FOR MY HUSBAND WONT SHAVE E
VERY DAY"....<.8500.$.(<.Y$D$"THERE WAS
A YOUNG MAN OF SOHO".Q.2<.:.C$"WHOSE TAS
TES WERE EXCEEDINGLY LOW".R.<<.:.H$"HE S
AID TO HIS MOTHER"...F<.:.H$"LET US SUCK
ONE ANOTHER"...P<.:.D$"AND SWALLOW THE
SEMINAL FLOW".G.D<.8500....<.Y$B$"A WORR
IED YOUNG MAN FROM STAMBOUL". ..<.:.B$"D
ISCOVERED RED SPOTS ON HIS TOOL".E. <.:.
G$"SAID THE DOCTOR - A CYNIC".E..<.:.I$"
GET OUT OF MY CLINIC"....<.:." JUST WIP
E OFF THE LIPSTICK YOU FOOL"...H<.8500.N
..<.Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED T
AYLOR"....<.:.B$"WHO SEDUCED A RESPECTAB
LE SAILOR"....=.:.G$"WHEN THEY PUT HIM I
N JAIL".A..=.:.H$"HE WORKED OUT THE BAIL
".O..=.:." BY LICKING THE PARTS OF THE
JAILER".Y.,=.8500...T=.Y$D$"THERE WAS A
YOUNG MAN OF ARRAS".S.^=.:."WHO STRETCHE
D HIMSELF OUT ON THE GRASS"...H=.:.E$"AN
D WITH NO LITTLE TROUBLE"...R=.:.H$"HE B
ENT HIMSELF DOUBLE".J.|=.:."AND STUCK HI
S PRICK RIGHT UP HIS ARSE".T..=.8500.X..
=.Y$H$"A SULTAN OF OLD ISTANBUL"...B=.:.
D$"HAD A VARICOSE VEIN IN HIS TOOL".H.L=
.:.G$"THIS EVOKED JOYOUS GRUNTS"...V=.:.
G$"FROM HIS HAREM OF CUNTS"....=.:."BUT
HIS BOYS SUFFERED PAIN AT THE STOOL".&..
=.8500.T..>.Y$" THERE WAS A YOUNG MATE
OF A LUGGER"...&>.:." WHO TOOK OUT A GI
RL JUST TO HUG HER"...0>.:.E$"IV'E MY MO
NTHLIES , SHE SAID".M.:>.:.H$"AND A COLD
IN THE HAID"...D>.:."BUT MY BOWELS WORK
WELL.. DO YOU BUGGER"...N>.8500... N.".
"...%N.:.:..(.*N.53281,5.L.4N.".
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.:.:.:.:."YOU HAVE BEEN RETURNED TO BASI
C ! BYE"...
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